Tuesday, May 05, 2009

You make me want to be a better blogger

I can't think of anything to write about. I am blocked. Either that or I am too embarrassed to put out the stuff that normally "qualifies" to get published on this site.

But I got an e-mail from my one daily reader urging me to write anything and I listened. I get a lot of advice from readers of this blog, and I always listen to it which is ironic since the title of this blog is the Self Help Center which I think means that I am supposed to be offering you advice.

I've had this idea for a while that I should write a "how to" on how to survive the recession.


So I guess this is the worst recession since 1982 when Ronald reagan was in office. I was around then too and my family made it by having 16 family members live in a two bedroom apartment. Sure the food stamps ran out quickly and several of us got Hepatitis, but that never stopped my parents from voting Republican.

When the food stamps ran out we just ate beans and rice like we were starving Africans. I guess that's why I've always had a soft place in my heart for the children of starving Africans. It's because I can identify with them. I mean I've never had flies lay eggs in my eyes, but that's because of the energy the free student lunch program gave me.

Back then we were so poor that me and my cousins hated the weekend because the weekend meant no school and no school meant no free breakfast, and we were excited by Mondays because Monday meant at least 2 free meals for sure, and that meant that the 12 kids living in the 5 bedroom sublet would not be home to eat all day, and that meant that there would be food left over for dinner. Three meals in a day during the school week. We were in heaven!

Maybe I should have left this post unpublished.

Though as you can see I have good ideas. I've got lots of good ideas for posts. It's just the execution is not there.

Like I have my idea for writing a second Miley Cyrus fan fiction story.

This time Miley's puppies get sick-
based on a true story

(she twittered about it!)
Her puppies get sick by catching some sex disease
because she is in to bestiality
then she writes God on Twitter
(check to see if god is on twitter/if not start god on twitter account)
god twitters her to put puppies in plastic bag
and then drown them in her bath water

I am sure that is a great idea.

I just don't have any dialogue for it.


midwest woman said...

Go ahead..fill in the dialogue. Then Miley could star as herself in the musical version of this great american novel. Wow were you really that poor?

Beloved Parrot said...

Keep it up, baby!

Romius T. said...

I'm still thinking about writing that great American novel..

Midwest..We were really that poor,,,