Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Self Help Guide to Posting Porn Requests on the Internet

When a pregnant woman stops you on the street to tell you about pregnant horse porn I think you naturally assume that she must be talking about a couple of horses "fucking" and one of them is pregnant.

I doubt you'd think she was talking about her desire to have sex with a horse while being pregnant.

But if a sicko like that stopped you in the street I bet you could impress on them the knowledge of their social faux pas with a simple raise of your eyebrows.

But what if "that person on the street" was actually an anonymous poster on the Internet?

How would you scold that person for their inappropriate behavior?

A flame war?

And who you hold responsible when all you have to blame is the lawless community of anonymous internet geeks who refuse to learn even the basics of human interaction.

Something has gone terribly wrong here.

I want to remind you to be careful when opening the responses you get from the fetish requests you make on the internet, because after you click on the link that the creepy internet nerd sent, you may never be turned on by pregnant chicks again. And that would be terrible thing!

It is relevant to your interests.

I know the anonymous internet poster just wanted to help a fellow fetishist out. But posters should take more care when answering requests they get in cyberspace.

And if you are an internet responder and you fuck up... just admit it. Apologize. Don't flame me back with the old Internet adage "it is relevant to your interests."

That's just not the appropriate response to a situation that requires you to apologize.

You guys have no idea how to handle social situations.

I know all you anonymous posters on 4chan hate rules. And I know that flaming back one of those super geek fetish porn addicts who befriends you by offering you free porn can be risky. That's why I am telling the community at large how to behave and not him.

He would probably just hack into my computer and download all kinds of illegal stuff into it and then call the cops on me.

We live in age of entitlement that sickens me.

Instead I had to tell him thank-you:

"Thanks for sending me that link to the pregnant women fucking horse fetish website. Because I really wanted to know just how specific people feel they can be in this age of over the Internet porn."

That guy still owes me an apology. Horses fucking pregnant chicks is not "relevant to my interests." I mean... not that horses fucking gets me off either.

I like to watch pregnant chicks fucking. Maybe they could be sisters from Japan wearing bright navy blue school girl outfits sucking off horses.

I mean except for the horses part. I like PONIES not HORSES you FREAKS!


I guess I could have linked to the webpage, but that would make it weird for us.

Wouldn't it?


greensunflowerRN said...

Nice. Too bad I didnt take any pics of myself naked and 33 weeks along for ya... too bad.

DrugMonkey, Master of Pharmacy said...

Best opening paragraph ever.

Romius T. said...

you are the only expectant mother I know without hundreds of baby bump photos. I am very disappointed!

Thanks drug monkey...that paragraph was the whole reason i worte that post!