Saturday, April 04, 2009
I don't care about you
There used to be a time when I cared about you, but that time has come and gone, and now we both just have to learn to live in the time where we are now. The time where I don't give a shit about you, and the time where you stop pretending that all the attention you lavished on me was about me when it was (of course) always about you.
I'd complain about how I feel cheated and used and that you just took my Google page ranking, my energy, and my massive wonderfulness, and monetized it. Then got famous, fat, and rich.
But we both know that is not true. You aren't rich or talented, and you have no more money than me, and you were unable to take any of my helpful ideas and do anything with them.
I guess you probably just sit around your computer in your pajamas and scratch at your pussy. You shouldn't. I think that just makes the infection worse. Not that you'd listen to me.
Since we've got all that covered, I thought you might want to hear about how NOT one but TWO African American albinos walked into my store yesterday.
Maybe you don't want to hear about that....
Maybe you think it is kinda racists just to bring that shit up....
But it still is kinda freaky.
The other thing that is happening to me is that I am hanging out with a bunch of post adolescents and their 21 year old strippa roommate.
Actually, I am not really hangin' out with the strippa. I just sort of show up at the kickbacks* these kids have and watch the stripper get to work earning her 15 dollars from the 5 table dances that party goers get from her.
She walks around the party topless for about 2 hours in the hopes that someone there has a few dollars and that they will part with those few dollars so she can pay for her new boyfriend's food.
All I can say I am glad that the government is giving this guy food stamps, because I don't think the strippa should have to buy her boyfriend food.
But the strippa does not make a lot of good choices. Stippa should think about going to a party with men over the age of 20. Because most men over the age of 20 have at least 5 dollars in cash on them.
NOT one of the of the guys at this KICKBACK had any scratch on them, so once again the roommate and birthday girl had to dole out the cash so that these broke ass dudes could get they dance on.
Broke ass dudes still have no interest in banging the sweet b-day girl so she should just set them free....
(That last paragraph was just a fucking twitter. I'm sorry.)
I forgot to take a video of the whole event. I am sure the stripper was not drunk, so I am sure she would have been against the idea. Next time I hope that she gets super drunk and then I can make a video. I won't post it, because I have no male readers, and all my gender challenged female readers will piss all over the video and tell me how degrading it is or some other bullshit like how I look fat while getting a lap dance and I certainly ain't gonna stand for that kinda shit.
[Random Movie Review...]
I saw Dakota Fanning in PUSH. A good movie. 2.5 stars. If you like SCI-Fi. If you like movies about mind powers. If you have a better imagination than the screen writer of Push. etc. Or if you clicked on the Dakota Fanning link and discovered it was like a smoking hot picture of Dakota in a "grown up" dress. That shit makes you pedophile. But you will like the movie.
"Miss Fanning" gets drunk in the movie. But I am sure your perverted ass new that already.
Push... has the distinction of being the only movie I have ever seen where I was the only person in the movie theater. Which would have been perfect if I really was that much of a pervert, because then I could have masturbated without a care..not having to explain myself to the guy in the seat in front of me.
I guess what I am saying is that if you are CHOMO...go see PUSH ...now....since it has been out for while and no one is seeing it anymore. Go on Sunday. Go on the last show of the night. Make a date of it with you and Dakota. Sign up to be a friend of hers on her fake twitter account. Send her nerdy/creepy/horny messages the whole time you are watching the movie... "with her."
I own two copies of Karl Marx's Capital: Volume 3. I have had it for sale on Half.com for one year. Not one buyer. In all of America there is not one person who is looking for a cheap copy of Capital Volume 3. Wow. No wonder we suck.
(things I am working on...)
I am witting a follow up to my highly successful Miley Cryus short story.
NOW STAY TUNEd FOR the SARAH PALIN WATCH....
I spent the last two hours clicking links about nutjob Sarah Palin. It all started after I read this on DIGG.com.
Todd (husband of SARAH) Palin's half sister apparently was arrested for b/and e (breaking and entering) and trying to steal money.
I guess crack is wack.
But not as wack as this....
"She’s talking about pumping breast milk – the grotesque ritual carried out behind closed office doors nationwide by beleaguered working mothers who are fully “committed” (as the lactation consultants put it) to the goal of long-term, exclusive breast-feeding. *** “It’s the moment that kind of brings together all the awfulness of being a modern mother,” she says. ***"
I posted all that for Commander Other.
By the way, I was totally offended by that last post. I mean as you are all probably aware (especially the girl in the break room yesterday...I couldn't stop talking about my lactation fantasies... with my good friend ...the guy who wants to go ski dooing with me...I think he likes pregos too!@) I have a lactation prego fetish. I see nothing disgusting whatsoever about lactation. I see only the awesome dirty sex making I want to make with it....