Saturday, September 26, 2009

I can be a Hypochondriac if I want

I'm having one of those gastric reflux kind of nights.  

You know the kind where you wake up in a panic from sleep (due to the whole throat constriction and unable to swallow thing) and get all paranoid and panicky, and by panicky I mean you start to Google stuff like "can't swallow & protein" which gives you the 14th different idea as to why you can't swallow, which has something to do with eating 40% of your calories from protein and how that is bad for your kidneys, because it take a lot of urinating to get rid of all that protein, and maybe that is why I am always thirsty, because I have so much protein and not enough physical activity (typing is not an exercise.)

I can't remember exactly what protein poisoning had to  do with not being able to swallow, and I am sure there was a point to that, but it is 5:14 in the morning, and I can't think straight.

I have brown rice.

I am going to start eating more brown rice. I think maybe I will add a few vegetables to my diet as well. I have a hard time coming up with stuff to eat that is not hamburger meat and Recess Peanut Butter Cups.  But I will give it a shot.

I will probably explode with fatness from all the carbs I am going to consume.  But I think if I stop drinking soda for a few weeks my throat might not close up on me, and that will make me feel better, and if I happen to confuse my healthy diet with feeling better then it will be a win/win situation.

Not for you mind you.

If I was still paranoid I would be the Glen Beck of the world of hypochondriacs.

But that is not going to happen now.

I wrote (ok thought) a good story in the bathroom shower yesterday (all my good ideas and narrative comes to me in the shower-why the fuck don't they make a water proof laptop for the shower *BINGO* million dollar idea.)

But because I am being all proactive all you get is this  post with no creativity, and all I get is to start eating right and stop drinking cola.

So if you prefer more "show" in your blog narrative then you need to pray that I continue to eat Fast Food and drink Coke.

But if my new found proactive orientation allows me to sleep at night instead of sitting at the computer composing a bunch of posts with too much "tell" in them then I am all for it.

4 comments:

you disappoint me said...

You might want to quit the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups cold turkey or you are going to die alone in your bed choking for air and imagining Mexican lesbians and snaggle-toothed English bookstore clerks as angels escorting you thru the Pearly Gates.

Romius T. said...

don't tell me you are reading the archives...and thanks for giving me another reason to think I am dying!!lol.

Alecia said...

dude you'll feel so much better if you stop drinking soda. seriously. that shit is poison.

Romius T. said...

I am off soda today! Wish me luck.