Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Opportunity never Knocks for the Deaf

I am up late and there is nothing new about that other than the fact that one of my bosses convinced me to to work early tomorrow. I will be working in the dairy department stacking crates of milk which I assume will be great for my back. But instead of getting to bed early I went to the store and bought some mango nectar drink and I am regretting the bad breath it gave and the egg nog like consistency the drink has when it pours of the container.

Today is the 11th even though I think this entry will show being posted on the 5th. That's because I am blogging over a bunch of posts that suck even more than the ones you have been reading lately.

I would apologize but I realize only 10 people read me and they don't really care what kind of crap I give them because now I am like their only friend or I am their favorite cousin to them. They just laugh every time I bring Miley Cryus or a pregnant Ashlee Simpson, or talk to them about my crush on Kirsten Dunst. They don't mind that I recorded Marie Antoinette and watched it just because there is something about that little Kristen Dunst that I have loved ever since she was a kid playing creepy telepathic aliens in Dune, or the even creepier kid vampire in that movie with Tom Cruise.

All I know is that it is 4 am and I have to wake up at 10 so that means I won't get any sleep tonight/it wont stop raining/ and I can't stop masturbating/and posting pictures of Miley Cyrus blowing bubbles in gum which all the perverts are calling blow job photos/ even if that means I will never get a girl friend/ and I won't bother you with how nobody e-mails me/ nor do they leave cool voice mails/ and whenever I get invited somewhere it is always the weekend and all I do is work on the weekend.

I can't afford to go see my favorite band, UFO, because of the gas crisis making a trip to Santa FE New Mexico 300 dollars round trip. I am really disappointed and I am thinking of suing someone as soon as I can think of who would pay.

Is it me or does pregnancy just make Ashlee Simpson look like a girl even I could get? (Speaking of bacon) I came up with a great idea; bacon flavored deep fried ice cream.

Today I had a conversation with a customer who told me that Mattel the makers of the Barbie doll once came out with a pregnant version of the doll. I thought that was just too hot. Supposedly one could just snap off and on the belly and she could be preggo or not. That customer pointed out that it was ok since the doll came with a wedding ring. Another customer thought it was sad that the baby did not come of through the Vadge. I suggested that would be a hell of an idea to prevent teen pregnancy because most 13 year olds have no idea were babies come from so they don't care about condoms which I guess is the best news some of you have heard all day.


Anonymous said...


Romius T. said...

good one. that was funny anon.