A letter to the giant titted women of the world.

There is this chick with giant fucking tits that I want to fuck.  Not that you'd know she has giant tits, because she is always wearing shirts that hide those giant tits from me.  Chicks with giant tits are always doing that, covering up their tits.  I guess they have like  some "I've got giant tits!" complex about it.

So what.  So you've got big giant tits.  It's okay.  God blessed you with something wonderful.  A couple of fun bags for the whole world to see.  Don't you understand?  Don't you understand how much pleasure and fun you have the potential to give to the world? Holding back on giving that kind of pleasure to the world is a form of evil.  Maybe not Hitler fucking evil, but evil nonetheless.

I feel like I need to mention that I just lied to you a few seconds ago. When I stated that there was one girl with giant tits that I wanted to fuck.  It's not true.  Actually there are a lot of girls with giant tits that I want to fuck.  A lot.  Almost all of them.  Some of them are even ugly.

I e-mailed one of the ugly girls.  I got drunk one night after celebrating at a friends birthday party.  I got wicked drunk.  Drank for hours.  But that wasn't enough for me.  Hardly ever is these days.  So after the party I drove over to the 24 hour liquor store and picked out a five dollar pipe and bought a 2 thimble sized canisters of spice, the synthetic weed drug.

I took the 2 canisters home and decided to try the strawberry version of spice.  I inhaled a bit and got almost immediately high.  So I took a hold of my lighter and puffed a few more times.  I got even higher.  A weird spaced out high that is a lot like mushrooms and weed.  But also feels a lot like crack or bath salts.

Of course every time I get that high I watch porn.  Not regular porn.  Where guys fuck girls or what not.  But jerk off encouragement porn.  The kind of porn where girls talk to you, tell you how you should jerk off.  How hot it makes them watching you jerk it to them. That kind of stuff.

On Spice that jerk off encouragement porn will fuck you up.  You won't be able to distinguish the voices you hear on the video from reality.  It will FEEL like they actually are there telling you to stroke your cock and how great your dick is, or in my case they tell me how inadequate I am.  But that's that the kind of porn that I like.

So I jerk off to the porn girls telling me to jerk off for a couple of hours.  I keep getting really close to orgasm, but I hold off.  There is a great sense of euphoria.  I feel like I'm on speed.  I feel like I am on E.  Weird shit.

Suddenly, for some reason I think about getting laid for real.  I look down at my phone and decide to look through some of the dating applications that I have installed.

I click through this one ghetto app that is written in java script running on HTML5.  It's neon pink and super slow.  But I find some fat, ugly chick has starred me, which means she wants to fuck me.

Normally there is no way I would let this chick fuck me.  But today I am so fucking horny that I don't care.  I decide I am going to get drunk when I meet her. After I get her to like me I am going to smoke some spice and fuck her.

On spice I will be crazy.  I will make her do shit that will humiliate her, or scare the shit out of her.  Maybe scare the shit out of me.  Real crazy shit like punching myself in the balls.  Knife play.  Chocking bitches out.  Having them choke me out.  This bitch is going to be sorry she ever laid eyes on me.  Either that or she is going to be so fucking happy that a man finally understands her that she will be willing to do whatever it takes to keep me.

I'm suddenly down for that. For being with a bitch that I don't want to be with in public.  For taking her to swinger clubs.  To make her suck another man's in front of me.  All of which probably sounds crazy to you.  But it's normal to me and a few other people.

I wonder if those people who think of that shit as normal are as crazed as I am when I get high on Spice.  Do their brains tingle?  Do they hear voices?  Do they get anxiety?  What's if feel like to be that crazy normally?

That friend who had the birthday had a friend who was down for this kind of shit.  She told me how her ex boyfriend was a freak.  She said that no matter what kind of shit I had done, this guy was way freakier.  She told me how he liked to make her suck other men's cocks.  How he wanted her to call him "Amber" and he'd wear female panties.

I never told her how I took spice and jerked off.  How once after smoking spice I started smelling shoes.  How the foul smell turned me on all of sudden.  How I wanted to lick the inside of the shoes. Real freaky shit like that.  How I thought the idea of her calling me Sarah was great.  How I would love the opportunity to watch her fuck other men as I jerked off.   Maybe even while smoking spice.  That would probably send me to overdrive.  I'm not sure I could handle that.

But this girl is an ex stripper.  Probably not that interested in me.  Though she hugged me before she left.  Hugged me from behind.  A long hard hug like you would give to a good friend that you missed, or maybe your boyfriend.  She pressed her tiny breasts into me.  I loved every second of it.  I hope she wants to come out to Taco Tuesday and get drunk with me next Tuesday.

I think I am going to invite her.  Or maybe that fat fuck that starred me on the phone dating site.  Either way, I should get with a real chick soon.  If I don't get laid I may go crazy.  I might start fucking around on spice all day long, buy a gun or something.  I have a few hundred dollars stacked away.  As long as my car keeps running.  As long as it starts.  I won't have to spend anymore money there.  IF SO I will have money for spice, for playing pool with ex strippers, and for fucking ugly women.

Strange.  I feel like I have something to live for after all.  Thanks Big Tits. Thanks Ugly Tits.  I love you all.