Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The good, bad, and the ugly

Like most people I have good and bad days.  More bad than good, but that's probably because of temperament, my disposition, my depression, bi-polarism, the mania, drug use, and general wear and tear of 42 years.  After a while it adds up on a man, and I guess I let it get me down.

Not that my life is really all that "bad." It's not like I'm an orphan child in Africa. things are lookin up for those kids, I just invented a tiny robot that literally picks the flies out of the dying children's eyes.

So you see things really aren't that bad. I guess they are just bad in the 'modern sense'.  Twitter calls them #whitepeopleproblems.  Like deciding if you should get the horn fixed on your Volvo before you replace the timing belt.

But I can't help what year I was born in.  I can't help the fact that I ain't got Nazis that need an ass-kicking.  I can't help the fact that white people already solved most of the problems that been facing people for years.

Don't believe me?  

How'd we ever get a black President then?

So I focus on myself.  Maybe to the detriment of our species, or maybe just to the detriment of the homeless population.  But it is what it is what it is.  And their ain't no sense in complaining to me about what I should really be doing.

Frankly, I ain't gonna listen to you.  If I was, I surely would have listened by now.  Instead I am just thinking a lot about Bath Salts.  About how maybe they ain't as bad as people tell you they are.

Also, I think a lot about football.  Got an app on my phone where I listen to all these podcasts and news reports.  They go on for hours and keep me informed about stuff I really need to know about.  OTA's and rookie salary caps and the like.

But I'm doing a lot of stuff like that.  Drinking, gambling.  Anything to keep my mind occupied and growing.  I'm learning new stuff constantly.  I am on the Internet everyday.   I check out sites that inform me about all kinds of things.  But I won't be bothered reading anything that I can't find on Reddit.com.

That's because I'm done reading classics.  I'm done reading books period.  Maybe if I could get my leg to stop shaking, I would sit down and read the old fashioned way.  One book at a time.  One idea at a time.  No hyper threads linking me to conspiracy theories.  No schizoid frenetic masturbation.

But like I said, that shit's old fashioned.  Kindle books, internet, twitter, I get my information the way the new generation does.  My WHOLE brain is moved too!  Faster.  I see connections everywhere.

Not Karma though.  That's a bunch of horse shit.  I mean real solid connections based on informed guestimations. Old people don't get it.  But I'm not like most old people.  Shit, put a hat on me and I could pass for 27.  Give me some E.  My face goes all soft.  I look early twenties.  Scared the Bejesus out of the teenagers I rave with.

They started calling me RAVE. Like in all capital letters.  Pretty cool nickname if I say so myself.  And you can't give yourself nicknames, otherwise we'd all call ourselves Max.

Sobriquet.  That's a fancy name for nickname.  Bet you didn't think I new that.  Well, I watch TV shows like NEWSROOM so you know that I am practically a pseudo intellectual.  I watched it on the YOUTUBE.  Sometimes HBO shows their TV shows on YOUTUBE.  Bet you didn't know that!  But I did. That's because I am two steps ahead of you. You old fucking dinosaur!!!  HAHAH

But I love that about you.  I love teaching you stuff.  I love you....in fact...part of me is secretly thinking about fucking you right now,,,ya...RIGHT NOW.

Don't get soft or wet just yet.  I'm probably not going to make my move anytime soon.  But it could happen.  If you get lucky.  Just think about it.  Think about me having my way with you.

WAIT A MINUTE

I think we got off track.  I am trying to explain today's universe to you.  Then we got all crazy.  HAHAH  Sorry, man.  But don't fret.  we got plenty of time.  So long as the circulation goes to my feet.  So long as the hair grows back on my legs.  So longs as I stop drinking soda.  Then we will have a few good years.  I got ten maybe 12 years left in me before I kick the bucket.  Before my kidneys shut down.  Before my job gets canned.  We all kick the bucket, we all get let go.  Before the robots take over.  Before the WalMart has everybody doing slave labor.

I'm glad I will be dying before all that. Before America is no longer #1.  When we get out kicks from watching hand ball or water polo.

"OH YEAH!!! WELL OUR WATER POLO TEAM CAME IN 17TH PLACE IN THE WORLD CUP FINAL, SO TAKE THAT URGUAY!"

Naah.  That shit is for you younger generations, me an your mom is just gonna play finger-pony in my ass while this fucking mania keeps me unnaturally high.

You guys can handle sucking.  You guys can handle coming in second.  My generation, well...we didn't handle that shit too well.  That's why we fail.  I mean we wrote Heather's and Clerks.  Two damn good movies.  But after that, it was like PEZ candy, after the nostalgia runs out you realize the shit candy you are eating and go hunting for something like a Magnum Caramel Ice Cream Bar.  Wayyyyy to fucking extravagant, but fuck it as the food stamps are paying for that shit.   Fuck the looks the guy with Mercedes gives you when you count out your coin rolls, the three gift cards, and the store credit you got for returning that spoiled meat you left on the counter to pay for your shit.

Fuck that dude.  Find his car later, and let the air out of it.  You'd have stabbed that shit a few years ago, but have you seen the mountains of tires located on Indian lands that get set on fire each summer?  Sending mad caps of black smoke into the air.  That shits for real, y'all.

Sorry for making this so long, I was going to keep this shit tight.

You know real short and all, but then I had today's poop watch and it was clay colored, which is a heck of a lot better than yesterday's green poop, you know what I am saying?  So things were on a spiral up.  My digestive track was getting better.  That is until about two minutes ago when I let loose with some juicy, green, almost chunky diarrhea.  Shit burned my ass chaps.  So now I am thinking... that shit mostly don't change, if you know what I mean.

1 comment:

s + e + b said...

This post of mine was on damn Reddit:
http://sbillinghurst.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/pseudoephedrine-acetate/
I got 16,000 views. I'm into ESP, don't believe me? How'd I find you on the day you posted? Fuck the FBI is a very frosty chain you pull for things to dump out...or...it's not that simple. Perhaps you dmess aROUND FASTER. oKAY, FASTER. hINT. hEAD USD. wHAT BAGGING AREA. WHOOPSFUCK WHOOP-Swhoop-s fuck whoops fuck. Motherfucker. Upon is it. Harry Truman is the first. Create a supposition with me due to fraternization. You are dogging memories but may cascade through them all only if you burn through all the possibilities, You'd be surprised-catastrophe-the shopping carts banging together covered up the words...Analysis, Mr. Spock. If we are all Spocks, it is better. At least give the name of a unique person first, then they can stand as topics. I won't get Truman's memories if I want to arc over the pole to nuke Semipalatinsk. Downeasters full-blown paranoid schizophrenic plans insist on a minimum, after another minimum, amount of bleeding execution like a motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker + ten hail Marys Amen.