Monday, June 11, 2012

Oversharing is what blogs are for

I've been oversharing at work.  I talk to my customers about my life in the minutia that bloggers do, like the people at work really give a crap.  Example.  I tell my customers that, "I just bought a used car."

"It's a 1990 Volvo 760 turbo." I say.  "I bought it for only $1300."

The Volvo 760 has that amazing turbo whine.  I just love the sound of it! 

"Oh, how nice for you."  They reply.

Then I tell them how I took the car around several repair shops to get an oil change.

"It turns out that you can't take a Volvo to Walmart for an oil change.  They don't stock the necessary parts to do an oil change.  I had to go to Midas.  Midas charges $39.99 for an oil change."

And sometimes my  customers will agree with me that the price seems "a bit high."  But that just encourages me to tell them that the mechanic I took it for the oil change found an oil leak.

"Might be something, might be nothing.  But I am going to have the undercarriage power washed and the shop is going to add some dye to the engine to determine where the leak is coming from."

"If the leak isn't important they can just add a valve cover or something and the cost will be a few hundred dollars and everything should be okay.  But of course if the leak is from someplace important it could cost quite a bit more money and the engine or the turbo may be in danger or already ruined."

If that IS the case, then I am fucked.  A new turbo could easily run a 2,000 bucks.  A new engine just as much.  I don't have nearly enough money to fix those things if they go wrong.

I go on like that all day.  Same story to hundreds of customers.   I also engage my fellow workmates in my oversharing.  I talk and talk.

Afterwards I  feel like shit, like a druggie after getting high, huffing paint and then waking up in a puddle of my own piss and swearing to myself, "Never again!"

But the next customer comes and I talk about how the car has air conditioning.  And how I just bought new seat covers, and how I am thinking about getting a new stereo so I can play my phone or an mp3 player while I drive.

Not that I have driven anywhere since I have gotten the car.  That's the question I have gotten the most.  "Gone anyplace cool since you got the car.  "Nope."  I answer.  "Just the MVD, Dairy Queen, and work."

So now I have to overshare with you.  Aren't you lucky?


Dr. Monkey Hussein Monkerstein said...

You've shared with me, may I now share the gospel of Jesus H. Christ with you?

Romius T. said...

Please do.

Romius T. said...

Please do.

Anonymous said...

Finally a new blog.