Back in the land of the living

I think I finally learned my lesson about getting sick and doing nothing about it.  Like a commenter who said he was "glad I finally started fighting the entropy" I am glad I am finally taking action.

I scheduled a couple of new appointments with my doctor.  I have a physical with my primary coming in June.  (It takes that long to see my primary.)  I was a little disappointed in that. I'm not sure what the point of having a great doctor (so I have been told) if I never get to see him.

I put in another appointment to talk to the PA about my anxiety and panic attacks.  I wanted to talk to the doctor before my next therapy session.  That session is on the 9th.

I still have recurring diarrhea.  I am still taking the Flagly for that.  I am sure I am getting an increase in panic attacks from it.  However I stopped taking the percocets.  I was worried that they could increase the likelihood of seizures.  The antibiotics I am on can do that as well.

The auras around my panic/seizure/anxiety has changed again.  I am still coughing and that starts them, but sometimes I get white floating dots in my vision and then I get even stronger waves of stereotypic reactions, etc.

I should mention that I went back to the ER again on Sunday night.  YeS, AGAIN.

And the ER lady PA was not happy with me.  She was quite dismissive of my concerns.  I was still having the recurring diarrhea and I thought I saw red streak.  The red streak turned out to be nothing but a skin irritation which (she did not say) may have been caused by some mild dehydration.  I am trying to drink more Gatorade, but I am finally getting sick of it.  I think I have Gatorade fatigue.

It was pretty humiliating to sit there and be scorned by a health care professional  for wasting her time.  It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.  My panic attacks have taken me to the place where I have become a nuisance to people.

Of course I think the doctor was pretty insensitive.  Instead of taking 5 minutes to discuss with me her concerns over my wasting her time she just rebuffed my questions.

How about tell me why I was wrong, show some clinical concern about why I am doing this...

Either that or hide your contempt a little better, because you chose not to address the fact that you think I am malingering, or an idiot.  Man up and tell me to go to my primary for most of my concerns and stop using ER services.

Not that she should care.  She still got paid.  My insurance company should be the pissed off people in this scenario, not the person benefiting from easy diagnoses and fat paychecks.  And secondly, it was a slow night. I got in to the doctor in under 2 minutes.  There was no one in line.  And the ER was basically dead. So fuck I probably gave you something to do for the first time in an hour.

I could tell she felt a little bad about her behavior because after she left to go through my chart again she explained that none of the tests she could run would alter the course of treatment I was on and she did so with a softer voice and more professional demeanor.

Now that that's over I am still taking the Flagly.  I am getting sharp nerve damage pains every once in a while.  Mostly I am not bothered by it.  The weakness in my lower extremities is better than when I was on cipro, but is still there in my right arm.  I am having a  difficulty in sleeping and I am sluggish and tired.

I went back to work yesterday.

I was hurting in the belly area from all the stretching and standing  think.  I was also really tired around the time to go home.  I am still not eating solid food.  I did have crackers and spaggettios when I got home.   I am drinking Gatorade and meal replacements.  My weight is down to 203 from 220 over the course of the last 15 days.  I guess that part is good.  People have noticed the new slimmer me, it's encouraging me to start a healthy diet when I recover from all this shit.

After I recover from all this I will be close enough to my weight goal that I will be getting bitches left and right.  I can stop blogging about anxiety and doctor visits and start blogging about all the tits that I am sucking on.