Friday, January 22, 2010

Remember the poster of the little girl eating cheese I talked about? Well here she is!

Remember how I hated her?  How she pissed me off?

I sank into a pit of despair so low that I flicked my finger at a cardboard cut-out of little girl eating a Triscuit that stands at the front of my register.

"Why'd you do that?"  The grocery clerk to my left asked me nervously.

"Because that BITCH doesn't need anymore cheese."  I barked at her.

"Look at her."  I pointed to a picture of the most adorable little girl eating  a cracker you have ever seen.  "You know she just wants more cheese!"

*I'm gonna take a picture of it at work.  You'll see.

That little kid has enough cheese.  But a kid like that is never satisfied with good enough. She just uses her cuteness to get her way.

I guess you think I should just ignore that kind of shit.  But I can't any longer.

"I'm sick of people like her getting what they want."

I must have said some other stuff that I don't remember, because for the rest of the night that clerk avoided me and did not talk to me.

Well they brought the little bitch back.  I think they are just fucking with me. 

What do you think?


thimscool said...

I think you sound a little paranoid, but that is understandable.

Look, Mr. Underground Man, there are ways to change the world, to bend it slightly towards your will, to plant a seed that cracks the rock. This blog, for example.

Neither you nor the fly-covered African starvling will gain any catharsis from violence, nor will it improve the lives of the yuppies that witness your suicide bombing yet remain unscathed. More news at 11.

However, you can do shine a sickly pale light on the implicit genocide that we all commit, and illustrate the crushing inhumanity of our modern life. Why? Because it motivates us.

More importantly I should note the significance that this blog and your vivid suffering have on the 7th major time-line revision... it precipitated the need to emphasize genuine martyrdom as an expression of love (of one's enemies), and my own mission to affect your behavior.

It isn't that your desired explosive death kills anyone of critical significance to the emergence, other than yourself. We've all gotta check out someday, anyway, but not before we do our part.

No... the problem is that you are obviously clever enough to grok all that and so it would only be cowardice that motivated you, which would directly contradict the meaning of this blog and your larger life.

If you're looking for material comfort we can talk about that. Hell, prison would be a significant step up from the life you describe, since they could never chain your mind, you'd get passable health care, and better company. But I'm sure you'd find a way to complain nevertheless. Prison can easily be arranged, but the approach you're taking will lead to waterboarding.

How much more evidence do you need? You suspect your employer of fucking with you... He is, but He doesn't limit Himself to your checkout counter. He's even in your dreams, but you reinterpret everything through a prism of self-pity, world pity, self-loathing, world loathing, self fear, world fear... and so you spit venom and weave wisdom as an act of defiant bravery. That is the Spirit! You know exactly what I mean.

Seek love.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Little cheese eating bitch. She'll answer for her cheese crimes one day, I swear she will.

DrugMonkey, Master of Pharmacy said...

I have to stare at a life-size picture of some personal trainer pointing at me all day.

You wouldn't think that would be so bad, as she is wearing a sports bra and is hot. The smirk on her face though, as I drown in prescriptions for 12 hours.

"You should eat some protein, but I know you can't because you have had 5 people demanding your immediate attention for over 6 hours now."

Not the same 5 people, a constantly rotating group of five.

"And because you can't eat your protein like me you are destined to be weak and sickly looking. Like most pharmacists."

All day long she points. And mocks me with her perfect abs.

I understand. I want some cheese.

Steph said...

I know someone intimately who also despises babies and adorable small children. My psychologist told me they have narcissistic personality disorder. I could see her foaming at the mouth wishing this person would seek her help. But of couse, people with npd don't often look for help as they are perfect. Just sayin'

Romius T. said...


I thinks you are right. I got introduced to all kinds of fun, prostis and cocaine so I will stick around I am sure. Jail would suck unless it is federal with the libraries and tennis courts and moderately effeminate men.
I sure hope that cheese eatin bitch gets whats coming monkey man

its all about protiens my friend the drug monkey

Steph thats not me is it?

Steph said...

Nooooo. Hatin' on cheese girl just made me think of that person.