Thursday, December 24, 2009

Bus Ride With Homeless Guy

The bus ride home should not be this eventful.  I got a homeless guy taking a piss at the bus stop.  Homeless guy is chugging a 40.  Big green bottle of Malt Liquor.  Homeless guy claims to have a job.  Homeless guy just got off work and wants to get his drink on.

"Back in Tucson where I roll we drink and piss like this, it ain't no big deal."

But homeless guy can tell I am not feeling him.  It's not so much that he took a piss in the middle of the bus stop that is in plain sight of a major street.  It's exactly how close he took the piss to me.  Like I could her the splash down.  Like I felt like I had to look down at my shoes for run off.  I dared not turn my head for fear of jabbing something in my face.  I'm protected by the metal barricade bus shelter otherwise I'd of really been pissed.  (haha sorry)

His watery eyes are looking over at me.  He tries to apologize.  He is saying he is sorry.  He says it like 39 times. More exactly he starts saying it like 39 times, but never finishes through an entire apology.
 He stammers and gets some of the words out but not enough of them to make sense or enough of them in order to keep my interest.  The only other question he has for me is when the bus is coming.  "Do I know?"

"The bus is coming soon."  I tell him. 

But he is 75 cents short of a one-way fair ride into downtown Tempe.  I hesitate to ask him what is downtown.  I just hand over 75 cents after I get on the bus and he sits there looking stupid drunk digging in his filthy pants for change and spilling assorted orange Tic Tacs on the bus driver.  Now he is offering to collect them before the bus starts.  He starts to touch the driver but the driver freaks out a bit and yells at the homeless guy.  Homeless guy shirks back like an abused puppy.

I sit at the back of the bus so as I can listen to Miley Cyrus without anyone catching on to what I am listening to.  I don't feel like answering questions today.

Some girl is sitting next to the driver.  She is leaning half out of her seat.  She is telling some story abut how the cops are fucking with her.  They are asking if her car is abandoned, "because it sure looked abandoned to them."

She fights back with lawyer words and tells the cops to suck it because her car has a license plate and her tags are not expired.  "Suck on that coppers!"  She says like we live in the 1920's or something.

I smell something fishy about the whole thing.  Something don't make sense to me.  Like why are you riding the bus if your car got tags and a license?

I ama gonna scratch my head about that one.  All because I might be gettin' some rash on my forehead or something, all this stuff coming down on me making me think I can't put off seeing no doctor no more.

Homeless guy starts paying attention to the girl and fake grabs her ass.  I start laughing my ass off.   The shit was funny because you can see her giant mom purple underwear.  Even though she is like 20 pounds over weight you can see yourself fucking this chick.  Even though she is clearly a crack head.  A fat ass crack head on the bus instead of driving her car.  It must be broke down or something.

I shake my head at the homeless guy as he looks over at me laughing with my headphones on.

"Don't do it." I implore him with my eyes.

I don't know why I'm always stopping myself from having fun.


thimscool said...

A late Christmas gift for you...


Romius T. said...

that was funny and one of her best posts. more realistic.

Also I am looking in the 300 dollar range for laptops, maybe 350.

I hope you had a merry Christmas and thanks for wishing me one.

thimscool said...

Then it will probably need to be a cheap laptop, a refirb, or a netbook.

There are currently 7 refurbished laptops available at with Windows7 preloaded. But they are all out of your price range.

You really want Win7, all things considered. And do not settle for "Windows 7 Starter" edition.

If you bend your budget a little, you could get this.

Netbooks are pretty crappy, especially as a primary PC. If you must go that route, lay hands on the device first to make sure that you can tolerate it. We'd never hear the end of your bitching about carpal tunnel syndrome if you get one of them. And the Atom processor is very twentieth century.


thimscool said...

You'll get much better performance at your price point by buying a workstation, especially if you can stand your old monitor.


Romius T. said...

what does the work station help with?