Wednesday, January 16, 2008

God wants you to jack off, because puking on a fat chicks is mean, and anyways that's what I get to do.

All the girls in the library look hot today. Girls in tight jeans. Girls who wear hooded sweatshirts and have their hair pulled back in ponytails. And they read too. They visit the library and ride their bikes next to me. They lock those bikes up on racks and walk ahead of me. I get to stare at all those tight asses in jeans as they walk all the way into the libary. I can still smell her perfume as I sit at the public library computer terminal. she used.

I think it all began after I stopped masturbating. It's been 2 days now. And suddenly all you fat bitches look good again. As good as fat bitches look, I might be gay. I watched Brokeback Mountain on HBO by myself last night and cried at all the sad parts. And there was lots of sad parts in this movie. The saddest thing about the movie is the director Ang Lee's vision of romance and sex. Ang thinks Americans idea of homo's sex is the horseplay of 7 year old boys. Later in the movie I guess Lee feels bad about his depiction of gay sex, so he makes sure that the hetero sex is just as "horsey" as his gay sex scenes.

Straight sex isn't anything like that in real life. Mostly it's about getting the underaged girl away from her drunken stepfather long enough to convince her she doesn't need to make you wear a condom cause you can't ejaculate "proper." By the time she figures it out you can just tell her it was a miracle and you'd never come before. She'll be so pleased that she made you cum, she'll forget all about her pregnancy scare until it's too late, and by the time she gets you on Maury for the DNA test that little whore will already be on her third attempt at finding a baby's daddy, so no one will even focus on you , or how your like 20 years older than she is.



Even though I cry at gay cowboy movies I still get laid more often than you virgin heteros do. Fat bitches love me. They e-mail me all the time in chat rooms. They call me sexy, because I love fat pussy. I love fat pussy even though I know no matter how much Feminine Deodorant you spray on your cunts, you still can't hide that cheesy smell you get from an untreated yeast infection. But at least you moan like a chainsaw is cutting through you everytime we fuck.

6 comments:

commander other said...

and the really nice thing is you can slap 'em on the ass and ride the wave in!

whoo-hoo!!!!

DCup said...

Oh, shit! This is hilarious! And this, coming from a fat chick without a yeast infection.

Romius T. said...

thanks commander, and I am glas I am not pissing off my demographic @@

greensunflowerRN said...

*Muuuuaaaaah*

From a fat chick who is weirdly turned on by your drivel.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Twisted but brilliant. It's the reason I read you.

Romius T. said...

i'm glad I am not pissing off fat chicks and monkeeys, but i am glad you guys get it!