Last night I went drinking at Muggshots. I drank alone because my female pedophile boss decided to ditch me to be with her cat instead.

So I drank alone, and the bartender closed the bar early, and I drank only one beer, and then I had to pay an extra charge because they had a minimum charge for credit cards, and I had no cash on me.

So I cursed my luck and started hating cats even more, but then I saw a cat eat a bird on the way home, and I remembered that I hate birds more.