My computer still don't work

Everyone at the library has bad breath. Why?

I ate at Jack in the Box on the way to the library today. That was a big mistake. Jack's air conditioning is out and it was a 112 today. So I am sweaty. Jack forgot to add bacon to my burger. I ate the burger anyway. Now I stink like red onions.

A friend suggested to me that I apply over at Charles Schwabb as a stockbroker. I've already picked out my Land Rover. A 1997 edition. I am going to get new leather seats and a "kicking" Bose sound system. I don't care about the 13 miles a gallon. We have plenty of oil.

If I get the job I will give up being a communist. Because I would have finally learned that capitalism does indeed reward the best and the brightest. If I don't get that job I will never get my Land Rover. I will never get my iPhone. And I will end up working at Mesa Airlines. I will get drunk and guide one of their airplanes into the airport, or maybe it will just run me over.

Though I doubt I have earned such a quick death. I talked to a new car salesman about death in a local bar. He joked about the cute girl next to us having "a charmed life." I agreed. I told him she had probably never had a bad day in her life. The only kind of women I want to abduct are ones that lived charmed lives. The ones who never have bad days. I ant to beat them and chop off their feet and store them in the freezer. The whole time I chopped away at her foot I would scream at her, "Having a bad day?"

Nobody in the bar thought that was weird. The recently divorced new car salesman choked on his beer from laughter. He told me he knew a guy who could get me a great deal on a Land Rover as soon as I got my stock broker license. I can't wait to drive it.