Saturday, November 15, 2014

Is that a bad thing?

Cancer didn't change my life.  I mean I get to make more cancer jokes now, and you can't make feel to guilty about those, as I am cancer ridden.  I guess it's because I know I am not going to die.  My oncologist said so.  He's like, "Romius, you are totally going to live.  This cancer gets cured all the time.  I don't even know why I'm wasting my vast talents on you.  Are you sure you even want to all this Chemotherapy?  Maybe we could just give you a little and see what happens?"

And I'm like, "Wait didn't you doctors try that shit in Alabama once?"

And he was like, "No, that was with black people."

Friday, November 14, 2014

God is lookin' out for me

People are always saying that God is looking out for me.  He might be.  He might also be looking to kill me, and just isn't doing a bang up job.  I mean if you are going to give me Cancer, why give me one that's so curable?  Or is God still working on the assumption that we are still nomads with no more idea of biological workings than "stay the fuck away from Women when they menstruate. Because, blood? Right?

Wait. Blood.  Ancient times.  Blood carries disease.  For instance Ebola. These ancient rules really might work.  I guess some genius really did write that book after all. Stock on menstruation pads and and pluggers gentlemen.  You're lady folk might be trying to kill you.

Do not.  I repeat DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HANDLE YOUR WOMAN"S BLOODY EBOLA MAN KILLING REMINDER THAT YOU DIDN'T PRODUCE ME AN HEIR TWAT STUFFER!!!!!

Cuddles,

romius t aka the cancer boy

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Cancer Boy is back with a Non-Cancer Blog Post

Is that possible? No, not really. 1

This just might be today's chemotherapy talking, but in my head I've been that funny all day.

I didn't have anyone to talk to today, so I have been amusing myself.  I should record my inner monologue, because it's that dang funny.  Like seriously funny.  I am thinking CBS sitcom funny.  I could get a way too hot wife, and take her out to the movies, and take her out to the grocery store, and I would just riff on all the stuff that comes to mind, even though she gets SUPER embarrassed by me and begs me not to, I totally ignore her and she just grins and bears it and that's how you make awesome sitcoms and run on sentences.*

*See what I did there?

Clever.  And more clever is what we need in this world.  And dammit I feel like I really stepped it up today, and the only the only person who got to share in that glory is me!  But when ya think about it, that's okay.  Because very few things amuse me.  None of you dudes are very funny, or insightful, or moving me to tears.

Sure, there are the classics, I could be reading Marx.  I not saying I haven't finished Capital, but I am more of a Western styled Neo-Marxist who appreciates the Early Marx* and not the antiquated economics (of which let's face it with it's 8th grade Algebra is really out of my reach/hardly my fault as my 8th grade Algebra teacher had enormous fake boobies and wore tons of make up.)

I don't have an ending for today's post.  But you can expect me to write a bit more for a bit longer.  At least I didn't use BYTE for Bit... 

*For the nerds this does NOT mean that I agree with Althussuer's infamous epistemological break. For a more complete description of my views of Marx see my The Karl Marx Blog.

1. insert canned laughter