I ponder shit at 2:51 am

I am wondering if things are going good.

It's 3 am.  I am sitting in boxer shorts and typing.  I am not wearing a t-shit.  If you knew stuff about me you would know I don't like not wearing t-shirts.

I might be getting sick.

I am almost certain that can't be good.  I am getting sick, because one of the cashiers at work loves to come to work sick, and she doesn't care if she infects people.  She also loves to talk to me, and spread her germs all over me, and borrow my pen.

I am sure she is rubbing that pen in her vagina, because we all know that the fastest way to spread the flu is to borrow someone's writing utensil and coat it with your viral infested labia juices.


There is good news. 

The good news is that I won a free cookie from Subway.  I guess in a way that means that Subway is a sponsor of this blog.  How many of you have a major corporation willing to put it's reputation on the line and support edgy, incest based humor?  I doubt more than six of you.

There is bad news.

I have three books from the library that are overdue.  With the fines at 50 cents per day/per book we are talking a major problem and a big drain on my drinking budget.
 
I would take the books back, but I'm way too lazy to wake up at 11 am and take the bus down to the library, because then I would have to blog that trip to you guys, and then you would all get jealous about how 17 year old Mexican girls hit on me and buy organic cucumbers to stick up my ass.  And then I would never get around to part 2 of the Epic of Non-Epicness that was the last post.

I am finding things in my testicles.

Whatever is growing in my testicle is really growing and I can no longer deny that it is not something, as it most certainly is something, although I am sure that something is probably nothing, but nevertheless it might be something, because I am white and pasty and 38, which is right about the correct age to die from prostate cancer, which I am pretty sure is how my grandpa died (though he did not die until he was in his 80's-also I am also not 100% sure that he is dead- he may just be in a coma or something- I can't remember what Mom said and I haven't talked to the guy in 30 years or so.)
 
I am coughing a bit. 

I feel out of sorts.  Like the day before you get sick.  Only it's been 3 days.   I just wished I would go ahead and get sick, so I could go ahead and get over with it.
 
I don't see that happening.

I sense the sickness is some kind of metaphorical sickness that sticks with me and that somehow stands in for the stagnantly dull pulse that is my life.  So I won't get sick enough to die.  But I won't ever get to  feel better.

I will just sit here in this really uncomfortable chair, and wonder about getting  something to drink, and stay up way past my bedtime so I can avoid turning in my overdue library books, and watch the inglorious bastards in 34 minute intervals, because my train of thought always wanders a bit nowadays- with all the aluminum that I have absorbed into my brain from the melted non- stick pans I eat off of- because we all know that aluminum residue causes early onset Alzheimer's disease.*

*I once read somewhere that posting frequently will make you popular.  I am not sure how that works here. Also, I was thinking we should count this as part 4 of the epic (who says you get them in order?) Part 5 will be guest blogged by Sara Beth.  Also each blog post will feature some blast from the past link to the incomparable archives of this blog (or one of my many other blogs.) 

Instead of getting forwarded e-mails I decide to write my own chain letter

Updated and now complete with the chain e-mail I sent out!

I get those chain e-mails from my parents. Since my parents are kinda slutty and get married every couple of years I have a lot of step parents and since I have a lot of step parents I get a lot of chain e-mails. Most of my family is from the South and that means they are conservative. I am not sure how they raised a son that became a Marxist but I credit their parenting style which was one of neglect coupled with a 70's Southern Baptist tradition of strict separation of church and state.

My parents (like most baptists) thought that if you died before reaching the age of 7 none of your sins counted. And since they were Baptists they felt that accepting god was an individuals choice. A person had to come to know and accept God personally and any attempt at making the choice for the individual risked that person's salvation. It was better to let your children wander away from God in hopes that he would call them back than to have your children follow the religion in name only.

I am not always proud of my parents, but I felt they never pressured me into any religion. I think they just took it for granted that I would believe in god. I know they never asked me what I believed as a child and they never spoke openly about the importance of religion or belief. I might as well have been born into a post religious family.

My interpretation of the events of my childhood might sound strange if we just looked at the facts. I started school by attending a Baptist themed Kindergarten. I did not graduate with full honors because I was unable to recall certain psalms and other religious requirements. I got to walk with the other kids, but I think I was handed a blank white paper instead of a diploma. I recall my father getting very angry about that. I remember the drive home. My father was screaming at my mother. "How dare they not graduate my son!" I remember being afraid. A child is always frightened by his father's anger. I also remember being proud in a strange way. My dad was sticking up for me. He called me his son. I did not always feel that way. I was told at an early age my father was not my biological father, and I was always jealous of my blood brothers connection to the only man I knew as dad.

I failed the requirements to pass a religious school because my family did not practice much religion. I am sure we were the only family attending that school that did not have a bible reading every morning or afternoon. We attended church somewhat regularly until I was 7 years of age, mostly oit of respect to my grandmother. My father never attended church with the family, but he worked 6 or 7 days a week and drank heavily and was often not home on the weekend. My dad was gone a lot of weekends because he enjoyed the company of women he would meet at grubby cowboy bars. After my parents divorced he would take my brother and me along with him to the bars when he was forced to watch us on the weekends. Maybe that is why I love local dive bars to this day.

So I guess you should really blame my failure to graduate kindergarten (which would later become a recurring theme in my life) on my parents. They did not force me to read the bible or attend church camps like my friend, Arlin, the nerdy religious child of my grandmother's next door neighbor.

All I know is that the next year I was taken out of religious school. I know my parents complained to my grandmother that the private school told me that Santa was not real and the Easter Bunny was fake. I am sure going to that school was my grandmother's idea. I am glad I went in some ways. I learned to read quite well in kindergarten so I was way ahead of the 1st graders in public school who were just learning to read. My brother (shadetree) claims my tutelage in the private academy started me in my academic success. My Arizona friends would be shocked to know that until 10th grade I got straight A's. I was placed in advanced classes in the sixth grade after taking a I.Q. test.

I recall the test giver being surprised that I knew how many feet were in a mile. He was shocked when I was able to take a lengthy paragraph about trains and say it backwards. It was years later that I learned in a community college Intro to Psychology course that backwards questions were weighted with double points. I was told by my instructor that I was the first student he had ever had who had been able to complete the task.

I am sure my head start reading in first grade was helpful, but I know the difference between learning a skill and passion. I have a passion for reading that was not taught or given to me but which is as natural to my nature as drinking coke.

My family is the kind of family that wonders about a boy who likes to sit in his room and read. I do recall that when I poured over the family's ancient set of encyclopedias and almanacs I was viewed with suspicion, but was forgiven since it the time could be applied to school and learning. If I read for pleasure I was considered a loner and lazy.

The one time my reading made a hit was while I was living in Colorado with my mother. We moved to Colorado on a whim with hopes that the Reagan recession was not as bad there as it was in Texas where we were living through another oil bust.

My mother moved our family along with and her two sisters and their families. All 16 people shared a 2 bedroom apartment for a few months in order to save money for the trip. I remember our car broke down halfway to Colorado with a full tank of gas in it and I recall that the full tank of gas to be the most upsetting thing for my parents. We drove the rest of the way in my Aunt Jeans pick up truck, sharing the pickups camper bed with what belongings we can store. Most of stuff was placed in a storage unit. Included in the storage unit was my Mr. Smiley doll that I had owned since I was little and my first rocking chair. My parents were unable to make payments on the storage unit and we lost most of things. I remember being shocked that the world could take the things you cherished the most from you. I lived a sheltered life I guess. I was never one to feel insecure as kid. I thought my parents could protect me from the world. It turns out that my parents were not very good at shielding themselves from the cruelty of the world.

I don't know if that is the reason my parents don't like people on food stamps or any other kind of government aid. I know that many times in my life I wished my parents would have been less proud and accepted some help. Instead the power was always going out and anonymous boxes of food and clothes would be left on our doorsteps. I guess my parents thought that was better.

IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY WORKING PEOPLE DON'T SUPPORT THE DEMOCRATS YOU NEED TO READ THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS

Actually just go to this awesome read here. It is kinda long but it makes the points I make in the language of academia. I must insist that you read it. Go now.

My parents are also not very interested in facts or fact based evaluations of policy. I know this because I my parents listen to their gut just like George Bush does. Listening to your gut means that anything counter intuitive the human mind seems foreign to them and anything foreign probably is dangerous and needs to be killed. My parents won't vote for Obama because he is a Muslim, because he is black, and because he is all about the big government hand outs to poor people who don't want to work. My parents don't want to hear that most aid goes to children, the elderly and the infirmed. They know it goes to lazy Mexicans who can't stop breeding. They know it goes to the crack dealer down the street.

My parents know this because all the minorities they know get welfare. They also know that they never qualify for government aid. Most working class people fall in the empty space between self sufficiency and desperate need. Most working people earn too much to qualify for food stamps but don't earn enough to buy food that is healthy and good for the environment. They live off bologna sandwiches and McDonald's. The buy their kids cereal and hope the milk lasts the whole week.

I can't blame working people for being upset about their situation. I don't mind working class anger. As a Marxist not only do I expect it, I want to cultivate it. I just wished working people's anger could be turned against the Republicans (aka the ruling class if you want your Marxist to speak jargon) who spend 600 billion dollars on the military a year, but scoff at funding 40 billion for food stamps and college aid. We should be demanding more from our leaders, not less. We spent a trillion dollars invading a country that did not attack us. That trillion dollars is enough money to insure every child with health care for a decade. A trillion dollars in enough to give every homeless person a home. A trillion dollars is enough money to pay for Pell grants for 25 years. Instead we are asked to believe that the deaths of 4,000 American service men and thousands of Iraqi civilians means something.

Our leaders throw our money away and working people instinctively understand this. That is why working people want to keep their money and hate paying taxes. Working people rarely see how taxes benefit them. They know desperate (or malingers) can get some help. They know that the rich always get richer. All they know is that being working class gets harder every year. Gas and rent prices go higher, but their salaries never seem to catch up. Food costs rise and cutting coupons no longer helps. We eat beans and rice and chicken.

I know that being a member of the working class is hard. Sometimes just getting up to go to work is difficult. Nobody gives the worker respect these days and the pay you bring home does not afford you even the simple dignities of an earlier time. A place to call your own. A secure retirement and benefits that do force you to lean on family and the state.

But working people have a calling. Karl Marx knew that. Things will only get better if working people band together. It takes energy and commitment to locate the true enemies of working people. It takes a strong will and willingness to see the counter intuitive. Working people need to understand the errors that our brains make in logic and thinking. We cannot examine the world from just our experiences. We must trust logic, science and the empirical descriptions of the world that violate everything our guts tell us.

Barack Obama will lower working people's taxes more than John McCain. I know that does not square with what most working people feel. But working people need to stop feeling so much. They need to avoid emotional conclusions. They need to look to facts and logic. That is not to say the rich are logical and the poor are irrational. I don't believe that for a second and it was not the point I was trying to make. My point is that the rich can afford to be irrational. The working poor cannot.

So here is at long last the copy of the e-mail I sent to my parents. If you want send this e-mail or website to those republicans on your e-mail that annoy you by sending you copies of Sarah Palin is a wonderful human and never lies about putting her airplane on E-Bay. I think they deserve it. I know it sounds like I am talking down to my fellow working class members, but I hope I am not. And if I am. Well sometimes they need to be. That is what Obama means by stop holding on to your guns and religion. Sometimes you need to examine the world from a scientific and reasoned perspective. Actually you probably need to all the time. But let's start at least at problems in the real world need to be addressed by real factors in the real world with real solutions, not blame. Maybe you should include this post with the email. I am considering sending it to my family who will be horrified that I talked about our poverty.

The E-mail was:

A little known website that allows you to see how much of a tax cut you will get if Barack Obama is elected. Did you know that 95% of all tax payers will get a tax cut with Barrack Obama Tax Plan? Go calculate your tax cut at the website below!

http://alchemytoday.com/obamataxcut/

According to the Chicago Sun Times an independent tax group found that:

"The rich would pay more under Barack Obama's tax plan, and the poor and middle-class would pay less, a nonpartisan analysis finds. Under John McCain's plan, the rich would pay much less than they do now, the poor and middle-class would pay a bit less, and the federal deficit would grow, the study found."

Barack Obama's Plan to Provide Middle Class Americans Tax Relief:

Obama will cut income taxes by $1,000 for working families to offset the payroll tax they pay. Provide a Tax Cut for Working Families: Obama will restore fairness to the tax code and provide 150 million workers the tax relief they need.

Obama will create a new "Making Work Pay" tax credit of up to $500 per person, or $1,000 per working family.

The "Making Work Pay" tax credit will completely eliminate income taxes for 10 million Americans. Eliminate Income Taxes for Seniors Making Less than $50,000:

Barack Obama will eliminate all income taxation of seniors making less than $50,000 per year. This proposal will eliminate income taxes for 7 million seniors and provide these seniors with an average savings of $1,400 each year.

Under the Obama plan, 27 million American seniors will also not need to file an income tax return. Simplify Tax Filings for Middle Class Americans: Obama will dramatically simplify tax filings so that millions of Americans will be able to do their taxes in less than five minutes.

Obama will ensure that the IRS uses the information it already gets from banks and employers to give taxpayers the option of pre-filled tax forms to verify, sign and return.

Experts estimate that the Obama proposal will save Americans up to 200 million total hours of work and aggravation and up to $2 billion in tax preparer fees. I should point out that if you make 5 million dollars or more a year then might want to consider voting for McCain. Otherwise if all you care about is your money, then voting Republican if you are middle class or poor is against your economic interests.
Objections:

Republicans are for smaller government Really? Did the government get smaller during Reagan, Bush I or II? Federal Spending increased dramatically.

Deregulation? Did not reduce the number of laws under republican presidents (again a dramatic increase). Deregulation allows companies and lobbyists to write the laws instead of a watch dog government. That is why we got the savings and loan disaster (Bush). That is why we ENRON. (Bush II)That is why we get housing collapse.

PASS THIS ALONG. LET PEOPLE KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT TAXES. McCAIN WILL RAISE YOUR TAXES. OBABMA WILL NOT RAISE TAXES ON THE POOR AND MIDDLE CLASS

Is it that I only blog on my days off now?

I wished I could tell you about all the drama that is going down at work. But I can't. There are things that even I feel warrant discretion about. So I am not going to blog about any of that. If I did you would so love the gossip, I promise.

I've worked the past 9 days in row. Even still I will only get half an hour of overtime this week. I picked time for 6 straight days on one pay period and 3 days straight on the next pay period. I will never do that again. I am just a little burned out on work right now. I did find out today that as of August 1st I am officially entitled to health care. Awesome! I can't wait to meet my doctor. I need a prostate exam.

I washed the truck today and it rained like an hour later. I was a little pissed about that, but I guess that is just god's way of showing he is still in charge and when you think about it that way it's kinda sad, so I hope he got his thrill on.

I am giving up soda again. I plan on having a gallon of decaf tea and a gallon of caffeinated tea in the fridge at all times so I won't be tempted to drink coke at home. The loophole is that I can drink a soda when I eat out or go to the movies.

It has been three days since I masturbated. I plan on not masturbating for at least two weeks. I hope to get some of the feeling back in my penis by then. It is time to stop masturbating when porn becomes boring. If you don't you can end up (deleted).**

I don't really have anything exciting to talk about on this blog today. I miss writing so I am just going to type and post and try and remember that nobody reads me anyway, so it doesn't matter that I am boring today because this blog is getting like 30 hits a day now and most of those are not even people looking to read anything I have written, so I think I will just stop writing like this is a destination for readers and more like a place for me to vent and collect my thoughts. If you enjoy it keep coming back.

Recently I've been talking to my ex girlfriend a lot for some strange reason. Thanks to the miracle of Google I was able to relive the last three years of our relationship. The past few years it has been all e-mail and phone calls. I think I saw her last in person 3 years ago. We had a discussion about how the last time we saw each other it was my birthday and we had a lot of fun that night.

I had a party at a local karaoke bar. We were all over each other that night. We made out in front of all my friends and we did not seem to care. She wondered aloud why after such a good time we did not see each other again. She blames some rather cold and mean e-mails that I sent to her. So I looked back at those e-mails (through the magic we call g-mail) and it turns out that for like 4 months I begged her to come see me and she promised she would and then she would flake on me.

My ex is not what you call monogamous. I knew that about her when we met. A few months after the birthday thing I finally got the e-mail that said she was seeing someone else and it had become "serious." I then sent her a few cold e-mails. I do kinda have a gift for them. I looked them over and man. I must say they were pretty awesomely detached and vicious without at all being accusing or directly insulting. I must say I have a gift there. I am pretty good at getting to understand a person emotionally. I can then really go after a persons weaknesses like a razor cutting into bar soap.

Her flailing responses I dodged effortlessly. She even mentioned in one e-mail that she thought that I was talking down to her. I was. I can't wait to talk to her so I can outline the timeline of events that let up to our break up. In our conversations we were mentioning the people we slept with after we broke up. She let it slip that she had sex with some guy from her work while she was going to math class. I did a little Google email search for school and discovered that was right around my birthday.

I will let the readers of this blog draw their own conclusions. I just know that for some reason it got me a little sad to read out old history and I am now drinking one of the the three beers I have in the fridge. Ice cold.

My Google ex girl friend is all wrong for me. But she fits the profile of women I fall for. The cool calculated distance of trashy white girls who never learned about emotions. They are abused by most of the men in their lives but sometimes find the nice guy to be a respite from the chaos and chain smoking in their lives. I am a sucker for women who don't want to give me what I need to feel secure because I guess I need to feel abandoned to feel loved and I guess I can blame my parents for that.

That a was a bit melodramatic and let me be the first to apologize. I hardly need to blame my parents for everything that goes wrong in my life. I don't like those bloggers or those people for that matter. I was just attempting a bit of self analysis in the classical Freudian tradition. I won't bother to edit any of this out.

I am not too sure why I get jealous anyway. I have all these cuckolding and pregnancy fetishes she could probably help me out with. She has two kids and she likes to have sex with men as long as they are not me.

FROM METAFILTER A RECENT POST

Cuckhold Pregnancy: the ultimate expression of a lifestyle. Being deceived into raising another man's child would be a nightmare for most men. For other's, it's the ultimate hot fantasy. Taking it to the extreme of having your wife bear another man's child is a suprising (to me) twist on the Cuckhold fantasy. Interestingly, it seems to dovetail with another sexual fetish previously discussed on Metafilter. Oh yeah, NSFW !!!!

I've been talking to my ex for about an hour a night for the last few nights which is kinda weird. We have not talked this much in a while. She used to like calling me on the way to work because she can't figure out how to install an ipod in her car and she doesn't have the patience to discover the funniness that is this the self help podcast.

The podcast has finally been digged by another person. I just want to thank her. YOU Rock! I hope one day to get you some gravy for all your efforts. I know you don't want the gravy, but trust me once you get a little gravy you will love it.

Like I said I was reading through the old g-mail I write the ex and I wrote her a lot of funny ass shit. I wrote her a deleted scene from A Few Good Men after she asked me to go to a movie.

"I don't have any plans as of yet for the weekend, so a movie sounds nice. But it does suspiciously sound like a date, I have not been on one in years but..."

Deleted Scene from a A FEW GOOD MEN DVD

TOM CRUISE:

"I have been asked out on a date before and it sounds a lot like that..."

Demi Moore:

"You like seafood...I know a good seafood shop...Wait a minute, your a 5 foot 3 freaky, gay, Scientologist and your telling me you've been asked on a date before?"

TOM:

Don't tell me about the History of Psychiatry, you don't know the history...I have done the research..."



Wow. I should really be writing for the onion or something. Maybe I could at least find a way to not make 10 dollars an hour less than a woman with the IQ of a small squirrel. I must be intentionally doing this to myself. I can see no logical reason why the entire world is able to earn more money than me. If I at all subscribed to theories of self sabotage I would have to label my behavior as exactly that rather than simply slackerdom or underachievement. I mean I love the girl but she really is as close to a retarded person as I feel comfortable talking to.

We should really only talk for like half an hour. I run out of things to talk about pretty quickly with her. Then she repeats stories about her kids or her life. We have known each other for 5 years so I have heard most of the good stories by now.

Ok, I am running out of thing to say and I am done with my beer.

I should mention that I find Sydney Pollack to be one of the most underrated directors of our time. I am watching the Yakuza on the Netflix. A good flick.

** His royal highness King George the Third has deleted this section from this journal. If you require access to this material and hold a stage 7 pass please press ctrl alt del ...now....

1:21 am

I am drinking the second beer. I have had three solid bowel movements in a row. I attribute this to eating Rasin Bran for breakfast.

Watch the trailer for a few good men and you will never want to watch the movie. The trailer is cut straight out of 1953.

p.s.
If anyone knows where I can find the scene I am spoofing please email it to me.

The government tells me to suck it on health care and white people are still ascared of a black man getting to be president

I pooped green today. It was the second time I pooped green in two weeks. I guess I have the AIDS. I don't eat lettuce or anything green, so I know it has nothing to do with my diet. My tummy feels crummy so maybe I just have a bug or something. I can't go to the doctor to make sure, because I don't have health insurance.

I applied to the state to get access to government run health care. I have spent the last two weeks in breathless anticipation waiting for an answer from DES to my application. In came in yesterdays mail and the answer is no. I make way too much money it seems. Anyone making more than 897 dollars a month won't get assistance in John McCain's state paying for health care.

I guess I will just have to wait for the free market to step in and do what is does best: take care of the lower class. In just a couple of months I will get health benefits from my employer. Hopefully I don't die of a bowel obstruction, or a bowel disorder before that. I stopped drinking beer and I limit myself to just a couple of cokes a day. So I have done my part as best I can. I say this because I am just wondering if anyone wants me to document my poop for them.

I know a lot of you don't believe me when I say I poop green. I can now take a picture of the poop, because I got a digital camera the other day. I could take photos and post them to the net is all I am saying. Maybe this idea won't take off, but if you still feel compelled to request proof from me I could e-mail you pictures of my poop whenever it turns green or yellow. I get no sexual satisfaction from this, if that is what you are thinking. I just want you people to take me seriously, and if e-mailing you pictures of my yellow and green poop is what it takes then so be it!

IF OBAMA THINKS WHITE PEOPLE ARE OVER SLAVERY HE NEEDS TO MEET SOME NEW WHITE PEOPLE

I get e-mails everyday from my step-parents. My step parents are the kinda people who think chain e-mails are funny. They also think I will stop being a member of the Communist Party (USA!) if I read a "fun fact" from talk radio. They think I will join the jesus lovers if I read a story about how angels rescued a puppy. They won't give up, just like my internet g/f won't give up the idea of selling me on puppies. I hate puppies more than I hate Rush Limbaugh. The only reason I visit youtube (other than all the teen girls dancing in the panties) is to watch soldiers toss puppies of cliffs. I find that sick shit funny and I won't apologize for it either. I guess you could say that makes me a dick, but not as big a dick as people who pass around those fake e-mails that claim that Obama is a Muslim who will start a race war if he gets elected.

My step parents sent me a couple of those e-mails and I finally got sick of it when the last one came with a link to scopes.com for fact checking it. So I went to Scopes at obama/muslim and the first thing I noticed was that scopes said there is a bunch of e-mails being sent around that are fake and not true.

You would think that would be the end of it. I mean I looked it up and showed my step units proof that the e-mail they sent was fake. But you'd be wrong. I don't normally put my real life in this blog. At least when I do I make sure to fictionalize it to protect the guilty. But I say fuck it today. * Let me just show you what the good white people really think about a black man running for president.

DAY 1 e-mail from STep DAd

DEAR ROMIUS [Not my real name, and yes the guy writes in all caps!]

HERE IS SOME INTERESTING READING. PICK ANY OF THEM AND CHECK IT OUT WITH SNOPES.COM OR WHEREVER YOU WANT.

DAY 2

my response is to email step daddy a link with this rather objective headline:

Report: Hoax Anti-Obama E-Mails Still Fool Dumb White Guys!

[haha I am funny!]

I added this commentary as well:

If you click on the link in the daily news (That liberal rag) it takes you to the snopes. com website and SNOPES ITSELF says the two different emails you sent me are fake (it quotes them and I looked over both that you sent me. )

Despite the paper being liberally biased (even biased fox news get things right on occasion)-I'm afraid that the two emails you sent are KNOWN fakes and not FROM SNOPES at all. One could tell simply from the tone of the e-mail that is would not come from Snopes as snopes writing style is more neutral and even-handed than what we read in the e-mails you passed along. HERE is the REAL link to SNOPES to OBAMA AND MUSLIMs the emails you sent me are false.

I have no doubt that you don't like OBAMA because he is a liberal and has differs in opinion on things like taxes etc., and not because of some silly e-mails you received; however, you are passing them along and must have thought they were of some importance.

I would hope after you read this you might pass the real snope.com link along.

Howver you sent me those e-mails. You did not send me refutations of his postiton. You sent me emails that are hoaxes, those hoaxes are going around the net claiming false things about Obama, which is why I sent you the the info on snopes via the daily news. I should have just sent you the original Snopes as you seem to trust them (BOTH of your previous emails contain SNOPES as a verifier of truth) I hope after you read the real snopes article your fears will be put to rest.

Regarding the Reverend Wright, I must assume that REV. HAGEE (MCCAIN"S PREACHER) and his zealous anti-semitism and racism is unknown to you. If not why would Obama's preacher's racism bother you more?

HAGEE is as bad if not worse on race (not to mention his anti-catholic stance). [This was written before the latest Hagee snafu about how god wanted Hitler to "persuade" the Jews to Isreal.]

Regarding your last email (AGAIN VERIFIED AS A HOAX AT SNOPES ) even if it were true -- politicians lie and politicians make their biography serve their desire for election. McCain has been around for a hundred years. I am sure their must be a million instances where he has misstated the truth (he can't tell the difference between Suni AL-queda and shiite Iran, but that is a different matter.)

If ethics were a concern for politicians then John McCain's involvement in the KEATING 5 would disqualify him from office. I can't see how he could get a job as a bank teller with ethical violations like that. I don't think any of those reasons are the real reasons you dislike Obama. I do not assume you are a racist either. {Very kind of me, no?}

However I think it is dangerous (I don't use that term lightly ) to send forwarded e-mails that attack the character of a person (running for office or not) in the manner that the e-mails I received from you and [redacted] did. They attack the man's patriotism and loyalty to the US. I find attacks like that highly offensive. The e-mails are hoaxes and wrong. The attacks are unwarranted and of an ethically dubious kind. In addition, I would not take the word of a forwarded emailer that snopes verified this stuff when I could check snopes myself. The email attacks were not of the kind that most politicians must face like "he supports a gas tax," but "he will give the muslim the bomb and kill all the white people" those kind of attacks should be vetted by you, because by forwarding them you have attached your good name to them. I know you would not want to be part of something like that.

DAY 3

STEP DADDY IS IN A BAD MOOD FROM MY LAST EMAIL:

I ONLY SENT IT TO YOU AND TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN CHECK IT OUT. I DID NOT AND DON'T PUT SNOPES AS THE GOSPEL FOR ANYTHING SO I JUST THROWED IT OUT FOR YOU. I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS GOING TO CAUSE YOU TO GET YOUR DRAWERS IN A WAD. ERGO, WON'T BE SENDING MUCH YOUR WAY UNLESS IT'S FAMILY ORIENTED AND W/O POLITICS. YOU APPEAR TO BE MORE CONCERNED IN RESEARCHING THOSE THINGS THAN MAKING A DECENT CAREER FOR YOURSELF, (maybe if you stopped asking me to research stuff I would have time to get a real job!) SO HAVE AT IT AND I WISH YOU WELL.

I MEAN THAT SINCERELY. [nice touch] THAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR BAG.

WELL SAID AND I CONGRATULATE YOU, BUT I STILL DON'T TRUST THE MAN AND DISLIKE THE DEMOCRATIC PHILOSOPHY EVEN IF THEY WERE TRULY LIVING IT WHICH THEY ARE NOT. EVERYTHING ACROSS THE REP/DEM LINES ARE FOR SELF GAIN AND POWER AND NOT IN SUPPORT OF THOSE THAT VOTED THEM INTO OFFICE WHICH IS THE SCARIEST OF ALL THINGS. AT MY AGE, HAVING DONE A LOT FOR ALMOST 67 YEARS WITH A LOT OF HARD WORK, IT IS HARD TO SUPPORT ANY POLITICIAN, WHETHER IT BE DEM OR REP THAT WANTS TO GIVE A PORTION OF MY LIFE'S EARNINGS TO THOSE THAT DO NOT WANT TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING IN THEIR LIVES. RIGHT NOW, YOU FIT THAT BILL WITH YOU WILLINGNESS TO JUST "GET BY", AND MAKE NOTHING OF YOURSELF. YOU SAY I OFFENDED YOU, WELL, THE FACT THAT YOU ARE SO INTELLIGENT AND HAVE SO MUCH TO OFFER, YET DO NOTHING..............THAT OFFENDS ME. BEING WHAT YOU CALL POLITICALLY CORRECT DOES NOT EARN A PAY CHECK NOR DOES IT PROVIDE FOR THE FUTURE WHICH IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE REALLY CONCERNED WITH ESPECIALLY AT YOUR AGE. WELL, THAT IS IF YOU WANT TO WORK IN MEDIOCRITY ALL YOUR LIFE, THEN I GUESS IT OK, BUT IT NEVER WAS FOR ME AND MILLIONS OF OTHERS. IF THIS OFFENDS YOU, THEN MAYBE THERE IS HOPE AND I KNOW YOU HAVE THE POTENTIAL OR I WOULD NOT HAVE OFFERED TO SEND YOU BACK TO SCHOOL.

NUFF SAID

Indeed sir.

I never responded back even though I meant to. I guess I should have pointed out to him that political correctness has nothing to do with calling a person a traitor, that it is just plain mean and libelous. But I was too busy eating ice cream.

Today's poop watch is green with a side of nuts. I avoid another dog attack. My feud with the Drunken Stepfather continues.

I make sure to write down how often I take a green shit because I am hyper paranoid about dying. Just like this site is dying, now that I have been banned in the forum by the folks at Drunken Stepfather. Not that this site was going anywhere before that. But I am down to less than a hundred hits a day and most of those look at one page before realizing they can waste their time better someplace else.

I think my poop was green because I drank a Sobe with Acerola and Hiprose at work yesterday. Acerola has lots of iron which can turn your shit green. Also I had one of those Fiber 1 bars with 9 grams of added fiber. The added fiber comes in the form of some kind of Mayan Root, and who knows maybe that gives you green bowel movements too. All I know is I topped it off with a bowl of chili so I will be constipated tomorrow I bet. I can tell you that my tummy had been hurting today, and that I had a terrible case of acid-reflux yesterday, and now I feel like a bad case of the diarrhea coming on.

I had to eat left over chili because I rode the bike down to the local Mexican eatery for a burrito, but for some reason the mexican food place only serves cars at their late night drive thru now. They used to have their diner open all night and it was a great place to meet drunk chicks. So I had to pedal back home without my beef/been combo burrito.

On the way home I saw a large black dog at the end of the block. I was hungry but not hallucinatory, so I decided I better ride all the way around the block to get home.

I can't pay the doctor bill for a rabies shot as I have no idea if I have been approved yet for government health care. I got a letter back that said they received my application and that it was being forwarded to the proper eligibility auditor to determine if I was indeed eligible. I tried calling the auditor but I was put on hold all day and I don't have a case number so I can't use the automated system to find anything out either. I guess I am just going to do what most people do when confronted by the massive red tape and tyranny of the state. I will wait and see and hope for the best.

I had hoped for the best when it comes to resloving my feud withe the drunken stepfather, but then he posted a rather sad blog entry about how wonderful his fans are on his forums. He said something like even though all the haters of his site think he is a misogynistic asshole his fans are sweet to all the girls who visit the forum.

when I asked a girl about it she said that unlike all other forums, the guys on it are actually nice to the girls. It’s funny that the site gets slated as a misogynist site that hates on and objectifies women, when in reality all I do is hate on an objectify sluts who are already objectifying themselves

Personally I like all the hating on girls that Jesus does. I will always be a fan of the D.S., but I thought he was kinda pathetic, sucking up to his 5 forum based fans is pretty sad. Those forum guys can't get a guy like jesus. They can't take a joke because they don't realize that they are banning me for posting the same kind of thing that their 'hero' Jesus Martinez does all day. I say this because I need to warn my readers that the forum over at Drunken Stepfather thinks this site is a pedophiles site and that is why they banned me and that is why they took down their link to my site.

So by extension you, my readers, are all chomo's too, and if you don't take that personally I will. I mean I know some of you really are pedophiles, but some of you sublimated that desire to have kids, and if your ex found out you visited this site he might try and take them away from you, which might be a good thing for the kids, but it would have a devastating impact on your psyche. And I don't like having that kind of blood on my hands, so maybe (just maybe) you need to tell the pussies who run the forum at Drunken Stepfather that this site is not a haven for child lovers, but is just a good old fashioned place where I can post totally legal pictures of jail bait you can jack off to in the darkened corner of your basement. Nobody needs to know about your dirty secrets. And you can count on me to do whatever it takes to make sure that nobody will.