The Mexicans unplugged my stove so I can only eat fast food and the pizza bagel bites stored in my freezer which say that they can be heated in a toaster oven.
I still have no word from FRO. I am officially worried. I will be headed over to his parents house on my day off tomorrow.
The Mexicans are fixing the tree that fell over from the latest storm. It looks like it is going to rain today. The clouds are big and swollen purple like my testicles.
I was at the library yesterday, but I did not write a post on this blog. I posted a video of Sarah Palin talking at her church. I find religious people creepy. You could go visit the Bathos blog if you want. I think I get like 10 hits a day now since people noticed I don't blog there. I kinda like the idea of having one less blog, but I don't know how to merge all the content from that site to this site. If any of you awesome blogger folks now that is possible drop me a hint.
I have noticed that despite my awesomeness I do not have one blogger "follower." It just goes to show you that people don't really care about me. Also despite over 1,000 podcast downloads I only have 2 diggs at digg.com. I guess you guys don't need this website the way I hope you do. You don't wake up every morning with your first thought, "What does Romius have to say to day?"
I think you should. I give away all my content for free and when you look back at the hundreds of posts I have written I would say that a few dozen are laugh out loud funny. You can't buy that kind of fun and yet here I am giving it away for free. Sometimes I even have to pay to get you this. If you count all the money I am wasting sitting at the Internet cafe typing how people don't love me and I still get only a hundred hits a day though I have noticed that my "returning visitor" hits are up, I guess maybe some of you guys like all the extra posting I am doing. I used to have 3 to 5 return visitors a day. Now I get near 10. Maybe that poll is right. I do plan on posting a lot from now on. When I get my computer I will just work ahead so that I can put a less "blogg" blog out there. For now you get bloggy and today's post is bloggy with a side of extra bloggy so just get over it.
I don't have time to write anything about Sarah Palin Today. I did not stop at Whataburger on the way to the library today. I am going to leave early so I can get some lunch.
Work update
I have worked 15 days is a row. I finally have a day off tomorrow. We said good bye to the coolest assistant manager yesterday. I drew 2 pictures for her. One was a political commentary where I suggested that Barack Obama was a closet socialist and Sarah Palin's unwed daughter was bad for the economy. The second picture was full of stick figure caricatures of all the employees I could fit on an 8x11 piece of paper. It was full of inside jokes that none of you would get so I won't repeat, only to say that my genius was once again affirmed by the outside world that does not read blogs.
Showing posts with label I get evicted. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I get evicted. Show all posts
Monday, September 08, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
I am the Hulk of snot
I give up. I guess I will just be blowing my nose forever. I will cough up green nuggets until the end. I find that accepting death is far better than fighting against it. Death will be sweet release from this cold which has me locked in a death embrace.
I think I am feeling better but it hard to tell. Even though I feel a little better I might have to learn to live with being a deaf. So much fluid in my ears I can't hear the TV.
Being deaf is not easy. I know. I had to help two deaf people today at work and deaf people are always mad. Deaf people are the easily the most frustrated group of handicaps you will ever encounter. I am not sure why deaf people get so frustrated. Deaf people aren't even all that handicapped as they like to point out. They just can't hear you too well. You would think spending your entire life dealing with hearing people would teach you things like patience. You might think they would say something like, "here we go again another hearing person who can't figure out what we need."
Instead Deaf people just grunt and point and use their secret hand signals like you know what they mean and they get super pissed off when you have to ask them what the hell they want and then they point at paper and pen and suggest to you that you really should write every thing you want to say to them down because they can't hear all that well and all the time you are thinking that maybe they hear fine that they just don't talk well, or maybe they are retarded. I guess deaf people don't like being confused for retards and I can't say I blame them. Who wants to be thought of as a retard when your only handicap is not listening?
Deaf people like to think that if we hearing folk just got out the way they could take over the world and everything would be OK. But if you have ever seen a group of deaf people hanging out at a bar and having a few drinks then you would know what I know and that is deaf people have a mean streak and chip on their shoulders. Deaf people get very animated when they drink together and yell and sign aggressively to one another. I hope a deaf person never gets elected president as a deaf person would be more likely than a hearing person to pull the trigger.
I have uncomfortable encounters with deaf people.
Deaf people have their own culture and don't like sounds or things that remind them of sounds and even though they don't realize it they themselves are always making strange sounds and some of those strange sounds are very close to words or seem to mean something to us hearing people so we hearing folk get all confused.
I wrote down address and phone number of the store which is what deaf people were looking for. It was all very confusing because I kept hearing they needed MY name when all they wanted was the STORE'S name.
It was a good thing that they did not want my name and that they wanted the store name because I thought they were gonna report me for discrimination or something ,but I guess deaf people like to write down store names or something as maybe they just forget what stores they go to or you make up your own reason why I needed to write the name of the store down for them as the store name is all over the store and even a deaf person should know how to read and remember that little bit of information.
***
I watched Team USA drop the baton during the Olypics last night and got depressed about it. Then I then watched Sweeney Todd and wondered why. Netflix still owes me a third DVD and they are taking their sweet time sending it out. I sent them a nasty email along with a nasty email to Amazon.com because I have not received the book I ordered by Eric Schaeffer. ( I can't believe I am still Single.)
I did get my insurance company to send me paperwork to enroll so I will be headed to the doctor for a check up on the Super Aids, prostate cancer worries and all my other ailments. I need new glasses and I need to go to the dentist and I will be able to do all that soon.
I checked on the FrO and no one has been near the house for a good week or two. I have decided to visit his parents on Sunday. Let us hope is alive and well or I will need to move in to one of those pay as you go motel rooms. Actually I kinda like the idea of fresh sheets every day.
***
This posting reminds me of the 30 posts in 30 days of may challenge I gave myself a while back. Only I never got close to posting 30 posts and I think if I did I would all be stuff like this. I can't keep up with the news or anything because I get all my news from the Internet. I don't like blogging about stuff I read in the paper or see on TV.
***
Mexicans shit a lot.
I can't tell you how much toilet paper I have gone through since the construction workers have started working at the house. I had 24 rolls and now I am now down to just one. What the hell are these guys eating that they need to shit as soon as the get over to the house?
They also used up all my poopie sheets. I wake up and I find all the bathrooms closed and sprayed with Lysol like they can't wait to take a shit at a whitey's big house. News flash. Whitey don't own this house. Whitey just wants to visit the toilet and not see a toilet sprayed full of pinto beans. I have my poop watch. I guess I should just go ahead and add the poop watch for construction workers.
I think you call it a courtesy flush. I know now it is not part of your culture, but please... look in to it people.
I think I am feeling better but it hard to tell. Even though I feel a little better I might have to learn to live with being a deaf. So much fluid in my ears I can't hear the TV.
Being deaf is not easy. I know. I had to help two deaf people today at work and deaf people are always mad. Deaf people are the easily the most frustrated group of handicaps you will ever encounter. I am not sure why deaf people get so frustrated. Deaf people aren't even all that handicapped as they like to point out. They just can't hear you too well. You would think spending your entire life dealing with hearing people would teach you things like patience. You might think they would say something like, "here we go again another hearing person who can't figure out what we need."
Instead Deaf people just grunt and point and use their secret hand signals like you know what they mean and they get super pissed off when you have to ask them what the hell they want and then they point at paper and pen and suggest to you that you really should write every thing you want to say to them down because they can't hear all that well and all the time you are thinking that maybe they hear fine that they just don't talk well, or maybe they are retarded. I guess deaf people don't like being confused for retards and I can't say I blame them. Who wants to be thought of as a retard when your only handicap is not listening?
Deaf people like to think that if we hearing folk just got out the way they could take over the world and everything would be OK. But if you have ever seen a group of deaf people hanging out at a bar and having a few drinks then you would know what I know and that is deaf people have a mean streak and chip on their shoulders. Deaf people get very animated when they drink together and yell and sign aggressively to one another. I hope a deaf person never gets elected president as a deaf person would be more likely than a hearing person to pull the trigger.
I have uncomfortable encounters with deaf people.
Deaf people have their own culture and don't like sounds or things that remind them of sounds and even though they don't realize it they themselves are always making strange sounds and some of those strange sounds are very close to words or seem to mean something to us hearing people so we hearing folk get all confused.
I wrote down address and phone number of the store which is what deaf people were looking for. It was all very confusing because I kept hearing they needed MY name when all they wanted was the STORE'S name.
It was a good thing that they did not want my name and that they wanted the store name because I thought they were gonna report me for discrimination or something ,but I guess deaf people like to write down store names or something as maybe they just forget what stores they go to or you make up your own reason why I needed to write the name of the store down for them as the store name is all over the store and even a deaf person should know how to read and remember that little bit of information.
***
I watched Team USA drop the baton during the Olypics last night and got depressed about it. Then I then watched Sweeney Todd and wondered why. Netflix still owes me a third DVD and they are taking their sweet time sending it out. I sent them a nasty email along with a nasty email to Amazon.com because I have not received the book I ordered by Eric Schaeffer. ( I can't believe I am still Single.)
I did get my insurance company to send me paperwork to enroll so I will be headed to the doctor for a check up on the Super Aids, prostate cancer worries and all my other ailments. I need new glasses and I need to go to the dentist and I will be able to do all that soon.
I checked on the FrO and no one has been near the house for a good week or two. I have decided to visit his parents on Sunday. Let us hope is alive and well or I will need to move in to one of those pay as you go motel rooms. Actually I kinda like the idea of fresh sheets every day.
***
This posting reminds me of the 30 posts in 30 days of may challenge I gave myself a while back. Only I never got close to posting 30 posts and I think if I did I would all be stuff like this. I can't keep up with the news or anything because I get all my news from the Internet. I don't like blogging about stuff I read in the paper or see on TV.
***
Mexicans shit a lot.
I can't tell you how much toilet paper I have gone through since the construction workers have started working at the house. I had 24 rolls and now I am now down to just one. What the hell are these guys eating that they need to shit as soon as the get over to the house?
They also used up all my poopie sheets. I wake up and I find all the bathrooms closed and sprayed with Lysol like they can't wait to take a shit at a whitey's big house. News flash. Whitey don't own this house. Whitey just wants to visit the toilet and not see a toilet sprayed full of pinto beans. I have my poop watch. I guess I should just go ahead and add the poop watch for construction workers.
I think you call it a courtesy flush. I know now it is not part of your culture, but please... look in to it people.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I am still sick
My throat is scratchy like I am trying to swallow an S.O.S. pad. I can't breathe yet and not breathing is no fun.
I was supposed to go to work at 2 but traded a few hours off so that I could complete my move from the one room with carpeting to the one of the freshly painted rooms. The new bedroom I will occupy still has paint dust everywhere and needs to be swept or vacuumed. All my clothes are belongings are packed into plastic bags. That will make it easy for the real move which will be soon I hope. Assuming the FRO is alive. If he is "he'll have tales of chainlink glory holes,green lunch meat and decorative oranges told to be edible."
The move took me a little over an hour and I am sure I will be breathing tiny particles of paint which I am sure will raise my mercury levels to unsafe proportions. I am considering suing, at the very least I will need to stay away from tuna fish sandwiches.
If you ever wondered why I don't post as often as some other bloggers I think you know why now. I won't be posting on Bathos or the Karl Marx blog for a while as I just don't have the time with the super slow Internet connection that the Tempe Public Library uses. They have a little note on the door at the computer lab blaming Cox, but the Internet is always slow here. I think we are using Commodore 64's on dial up here. It takes 4 minutes to check my e-mail which consists of my mother and step mother's forwarded jokes and racist attacks on Barrack Obama, who I had no idea was a lesbian Muslim who wants to turn America into Cuba.
I am congested. I feel a weight on my lungs. I will be coughing a lot soon.
Yesterday I blew my nose a lot. When I start to blow my nose all I do is blow my nose. I remember as a child i had pneumonia and filled a large brown paper sack from the grocery store full of little snot rags. My mother insisted I was faking it. She thought there was no way possible for a child to have that much snot.
I went through an entire box of Kleenex yesterday at work all by myself. All the while I am touching your vegetables and handling your food. I made a suggestion to go home and my supervisor just laughed. I talked a pal (thanks milly!) to come in early today for me so I could finish packing and get some rest (I still ain't sleeping, i can't sleep knowing the Mexicans are on the way.) The Mexicans did fix the door bell today so we know have a door bell. I still have not got my book by Eric Schaefer in the mail. So far that is like 20 dollars down the drain. And I spending money too much, I am eating out a lot as I don't like eating around fumes. I get depressed easily and seeing the crack house fills me with anxiety. I am very anxious lately. I have too much to worry about. I don't like having to think about stuff so much. I will be glad when the move is over.
I told Leslie about my hanging out with my ex yesterday. I mentioned Leslie because she likes me to talk about her on my blog. I told her she would not need to read the next few posts as I described my sick symptoms and evening out with the Google eX.
Leslie told me that if she was 25 she could be interested in me. I asked her what her friends would say about a 17 year old girl dating a 37 year old man. She said her friends would think she was a bit desperate. I had to agree though I had hoped that it would be cool for a girl in high school to date an older man, but I have a feeling only a 13 or 14 year old will think dating a much older guy like me will make them cool.
I started reading a memoir, A loose Woman. it details how the author used her body to get attention. It is filled with sex and I hope to learn a lot about women by reading it. Maybe I will get laid sometime soon. I can't about sex too much when I am sick. That is what made my last masturbation session during the Olympics so creepy for me.
I have only a few minutes left. I still want to write about my night out, but it was not that interesting to be honest. If I do write it I promise it will be boring, so don't get your hopes up. I just need something to keep you interest while I wait for a computer and access to the Internet. I sure hope Britney has not done something crazy while I have been away from the net. I can't visit the drunken stepfather either as it is banned from public libraries. I was hoping me and Jesus were gonna be best friends.
God damn google has fucked this post by dropping half of the changes and edits I have made. Fucking internet. Fucking google. If this post makes no sense blame the TPL , Cox internet and Blogger. don't blame me. I am sick and I have to go to work and take another poop there. Jeez I hate that.
I was supposed to go to work at 2 but traded a few hours off so that I could complete my move from the one room with carpeting to the one of the freshly painted rooms. The new bedroom I will occupy still has paint dust everywhere and needs to be swept or vacuumed. All my clothes are belongings are packed into plastic bags. That will make it easy for the real move which will be soon I hope. Assuming the FRO is alive. If he is "he'll have tales of chainlink glory holes,green lunch meat and decorative oranges told to be edible."
The move took me a little over an hour and I am sure I will be breathing tiny particles of paint which I am sure will raise my mercury levels to unsafe proportions. I am considering suing, at the very least I will need to stay away from tuna fish sandwiches.
If you ever wondered why I don't post as often as some other bloggers I think you know why now. I won't be posting on Bathos or the Karl Marx blog for a while as I just don't have the time with the super slow Internet connection that the Tempe Public Library uses. They have a little note on the door at the computer lab blaming Cox, but the Internet is always slow here. I think we are using Commodore 64's on dial up here. It takes 4 minutes to check my e-mail which consists of my mother and step mother's forwarded jokes and racist attacks on Barrack Obama, who I had no idea was a lesbian Muslim who wants to turn America into Cuba.
I am congested. I feel a weight on my lungs. I will be coughing a lot soon.
Yesterday I blew my nose a lot. When I start to blow my nose all I do is blow my nose. I remember as a child i had pneumonia and filled a large brown paper sack from the grocery store full of little snot rags. My mother insisted I was faking it. She thought there was no way possible for a child to have that much snot.
I went through an entire box of Kleenex yesterday at work all by myself. All the while I am touching your vegetables and handling your food. I made a suggestion to go home and my supervisor just laughed. I talked a pal (thanks milly!) to come in early today for me so I could finish packing and get some rest (I still ain't sleeping, i can't sleep knowing the Mexicans are on the way.) The Mexicans did fix the door bell today so we know have a door bell. I still have not got my book by Eric Schaefer in the mail. So far that is like 20 dollars down the drain. And I spending money too much, I am eating out a lot as I don't like eating around fumes. I get depressed easily and seeing the crack house fills me with anxiety. I am very anxious lately. I have too much to worry about. I don't like having to think about stuff so much. I will be glad when the move is over.
I told Leslie about my hanging out with my ex yesterday. I mentioned Leslie because she likes me to talk about her on my blog. I told her she would not need to read the next few posts as I described my sick symptoms and evening out with the Google eX.
Leslie told me that if she was 25 she could be interested in me. I asked her what her friends would say about a 17 year old girl dating a 37 year old man. She said her friends would think she was a bit desperate. I had to agree though I had hoped that it would be cool for a girl in high school to date an older man, but I have a feeling only a 13 or 14 year old will think dating a much older guy like me will make them cool.
I started reading a memoir, A loose Woman. it details how the author used her body to get attention. It is filled with sex and I hope to learn a lot about women by reading it. Maybe I will get laid sometime soon. I can't about sex too much when I am sick. That is what made my last masturbation session during the Olympics so creepy for me.
I have only a few minutes left. I still want to write about my night out, but it was not that interesting to be honest. If I do write it I promise it will be boring, so don't get your hopes up. I just need something to keep you interest while I wait for a computer and access to the Internet. I sure hope Britney has not done something crazy while I have been away from the net. I can't visit the drunken stepfather either as it is banned from public libraries. I was hoping me and Jesus were gonna be best friends.
God damn google has fucked this post by dropping half of the changes and edits I have made. Fucking internet. Fucking google. If this post makes no sense blame the TPL , Cox internet and Blogger. don't blame me. I am sick and I have to go to work and take another poop there. Jeez I hate that.
Monday, August 18, 2008
My day off as a homeless bum
Sunday.
I am sick. I have been blowing my nose all day. My throat is sore, and I still taste the "water based paint" in the back of my throat. The construction workers were supposed to come over at 10 am but let me sleep until noon. I was gone by then and planned to stay out all day. I was out doing the same thing I do whenever I had a day off and was married. I went to the bookstore. i could not find a replacement copy for the lost Bukowski novel. I refuse to buy a new book. I want to pay used prices for my book since I already bought it.
I drove around to several different barber shops that I like but they were all closed. Sunday is not such a good day to have off if you want to get anything done other than watching the NFL.
I went to the movies to get out of the heat and fumes. I saw Tropic Thunder. It was pretty good and Tom Cruise is the funniest dancer ever. I walked around the mall a lot and bought a 5 dollar shake from some hamburger joint where the staff dances on the half hour. I remember a certain hitman in a Quentin Tarantino movie who was made aghast at the prospect of purchasing a 5 dollar shake, but with gas prices and the recession it seemed like no big deal to me.
I would like to gripe about all the aggressive cell phone salesman in the mall. There must be 30 kiosks of cell phone providers and every time you walk by one they "just want to ask you a question." I can assume a special place in hell for the man who allowed all these pushy cell phone salespeople to exist.
I retired to my room and barricaded myself away as much as possible from the fumes. I did not eat dinner but I did go to Walgreen's to purchase a new toothbrush (I am afraid that the paint fumes have soaked my old one), fruit juice and some water.
I had difficulty breathing all night and the A/C was out. Only in my room. The rest of the house was livable but smelled like paint. My room has yet to be painted so I chose to lie in a warm bed rather than breathe in toxic fumes.
Monday
I laid restlessly in bed until 7am when I took some aspirin. My fever subsided and I was able to breathe on my right side. My throat still hurt and I still taste paint and the workers woke me up at 9am. I stayed in bed till 12pm and woke and showered and ate a Whataburger (I never eat at Wendy's anymore) and now I am posting all this crap here.
I hope my readers will stick by knowing that all I can produce right now is what they are reading. I am in a weakened state. I lack energy of all sorts. I drove by the Fro's house 3 times yesterday. No one was home. I must assume he is missing. Who knows for how long? Maybe I will visit his parents to find out more. Either way it appears I am stuck in the house for the foreseeable future.
A young black woman checked me out on the way in to the library today. I must look worse than I feel. Which would be awful. My eyes are solid red. I am sure I have the super aids. I need to quit exposing myself to the virus. I will certainly catch it one day. When I do I will never get a girl friend. I will die alone.
The library is unbearable. Warm and moist with the constant stream of cell phones interrupting my concentration. A homeless man is seated at my table with McDonald's. I think he wants my coke. I think that he is living dangerously.
Every one near me sneezes. I blow my nose and go through two tissues as I type this post. I hate being sick. I hate the heat. It is only making the homeless situation difficult. I think the workers are expecting me to pack my belongings. They want to begin work today in my room. I will have no safe haven. They keep blaming Card Shark but I know that it is there fault. They don't ask him permission to start work. They just go where they need to. I blame them for all the headaches. I don't trust water based paint. I am sure I am developing some kind of disease from exposure.
The homeless man stood up to see if he could take a swig from my soda. The soda is placed on the table just outside of the computer room. You can't bring a drink in to the computer room and the homeless man wants to wash down his Big Mac with my cola. Fuck him. You can't have my fucking Coke dude!
I work in one hour. My heart is racing. I am out of wack. People want things my coke. I taste paint in the back of my throat whenever I swallow. I am having a bad day people. Don't you wish you were me? Today the library hid the Internet explorer from me. But I am tricky and I know that just because there is no icon for Explorer that there is still a way to access the Internet. Fuck them! They think they got me but they lose too!! My upper lip is sweating. That is not a good sign. I wipe the sweat as it collects in my goatee. I think people notice me wiping away at the sweat.
I type all this in under one hour. I checked my email. I forgot to mention that 2 of my former teen sister wives are now working at the movie complex I visited. I got a hug from one. You are jealous no doubt. She wore a cute bow tie. She held in her hands the broom and pan needed to scrape up popcorn. I did not ask her to get me into a second movie for free. Netflix finally delivered me a couple of movies.
Did I mention I went drinking on Friday? I was hung over all day Saturday.
Luck Charm please send me a link to your blog through email. I lost it on my roommates computer. I miss following your blog as it is a quick read!
Your homeless blogger,
Romius T.
p.s.
I need to poop right now. But I don't have any wipes. I will have to poop in at work where I can purchase some. I am spending money to fast. I can't save any. I hate when I hold in my poop all day at work. It makes for an uncomfortable day. I am already sick and exposed to toxic shock syndrome now I must shit. The body. No matter what. It imposes on us. Drags us into the here. I sweat. I ache. I need sex. I need to stop all the masturbating to the Olympic gymnasts. A few were 20 years old and bendy. I masturbated high to fumes and sudafed. I noticed my penis is bigger than you thought it was. I have a time magazine with a picture of a six inch ruler. I think you will be impressed ladies. A full two inches when flaccid. No problem at all. I need to stop typing I have 2 minutes left!
I am sick. I have been blowing my nose all day. My throat is sore, and I still taste the "water based paint" in the back of my throat. The construction workers were supposed to come over at 10 am but let me sleep until noon. I was gone by then and planned to stay out all day. I was out doing the same thing I do whenever I had a day off and was married. I went to the bookstore. i could not find a replacement copy for the lost Bukowski novel. I refuse to buy a new book. I want to pay used prices for my book since I already bought it.
I drove around to several different barber shops that I like but they were all closed. Sunday is not such a good day to have off if you want to get anything done other than watching the NFL.
I went to the movies to get out of the heat and fumes. I saw Tropic Thunder. It was pretty good and Tom Cruise is the funniest dancer ever. I walked around the mall a lot and bought a 5 dollar shake from some hamburger joint where the staff dances on the half hour. I remember a certain hitman in a Quentin Tarantino movie who was made aghast at the prospect of purchasing a 5 dollar shake, but with gas prices and the recession it seemed like no big deal to me.
I would like to gripe about all the aggressive cell phone salesman in the mall. There must be 30 kiosks of cell phone providers and every time you walk by one they "just want to ask you a question." I can assume a special place in hell for the man who allowed all these pushy cell phone salespeople to exist.
I retired to my room and barricaded myself away as much as possible from the fumes. I did not eat dinner but I did go to Walgreen's to purchase a new toothbrush (I am afraid that the paint fumes have soaked my old one), fruit juice and some water.
I had difficulty breathing all night and the A/C was out. Only in my room. The rest of the house was livable but smelled like paint. My room has yet to be painted so I chose to lie in a warm bed rather than breathe in toxic fumes.
Monday
I laid restlessly in bed until 7am when I took some aspirin. My fever subsided and I was able to breathe on my right side. My throat still hurt and I still taste paint and the workers woke me up at 9am. I stayed in bed till 12pm and woke and showered and ate a Whataburger (I never eat at Wendy's anymore) and now I am posting all this crap here.
I hope my readers will stick by knowing that all I can produce right now is what they are reading. I am in a weakened state. I lack energy of all sorts. I drove by the Fro's house 3 times yesterday. No one was home. I must assume he is missing. Who knows for how long? Maybe I will visit his parents to find out more. Either way it appears I am stuck in the house for the foreseeable future.
A young black woman checked me out on the way in to the library today. I must look worse than I feel. Which would be awful. My eyes are solid red. I am sure I have the super aids. I need to quit exposing myself to the virus. I will certainly catch it one day. When I do I will never get a girl friend. I will die alone.
The library is unbearable. Warm and moist with the constant stream of cell phones interrupting my concentration. A homeless man is seated at my table with McDonald's. I think he wants my coke. I think that he is living dangerously.
Every one near me sneezes. I blow my nose and go through two tissues as I type this post. I hate being sick. I hate the heat. It is only making the homeless situation difficult. I think the workers are expecting me to pack my belongings. They want to begin work today in my room. I will have no safe haven. They keep blaming Card Shark but I know that it is there fault. They don't ask him permission to start work. They just go where they need to. I blame them for all the headaches. I don't trust water based paint. I am sure I am developing some kind of disease from exposure.
The homeless man stood up to see if he could take a swig from my soda. The soda is placed on the table just outside of the computer room. You can't bring a drink in to the computer room and the homeless man wants to wash down his Big Mac with my cola. Fuck him. You can't have my fucking Coke dude!
I work in one hour. My heart is racing. I am out of wack. People want things my coke. I taste paint in the back of my throat whenever I swallow. I am having a bad day people. Don't you wish you were me? Today the library hid the Internet explorer from me. But I am tricky and I know that just because there is no icon for Explorer that there is still a way to access the Internet. Fuck them! They think they got me but they lose too!! My upper lip is sweating. That is not a good sign. I wipe the sweat as it collects in my goatee. I think people notice me wiping away at the sweat.
I type all this in under one hour. I checked my email. I forgot to mention that 2 of my former teen sister wives are now working at the movie complex I visited. I got a hug from one. You are jealous no doubt. She wore a cute bow tie. She held in her hands the broom and pan needed to scrape up popcorn. I did not ask her to get me into a second movie for free. Netflix finally delivered me a couple of movies.
Did I mention I went drinking on Friday? I was hung over all day Saturday.
Luck Charm please send me a link to your blog through email. I lost it on my roommates computer. I miss following your blog as it is a quick read!
Your homeless blogger,
Romius T.
p.s.
I need to poop right now. But I don't have any wipes. I will have to poop in at work where I can purchase some. I am spending money to fast. I can't save any. I hate when I hold in my poop all day at work. It makes for an uncomfortable day. I am already sick and exposed to toxic shock syndrome now I must shit. The body. No matter what. It imposes on us. Drags us into the here. I sweat. I ache. I need sex. I need to stop all the masturbating to the Olympic gymnasts. A few were 20 years old and bendy. I masturbated high to fumes and sudafed. I noticed my penis is bigger than you thought it was. I have a time magazine with a picture of a six inch ruler. I think you will be impressed ladies. A full two inches when flaccid. No problem at all. I need to stop typing I have 2 minutes left!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
The case of the missing Afro.
I don't warn to alarm you but I have been breathing in paint fumes all day. The mexicans are back at the house spray painting the walls because they have never heard of paint brushes or rollers. All I know is that I am catching a cold. I am stuffy headed and my throat hurts but not the kind of hurt I get from acid reflux. It is the achey pain of a sore throat. Every time I swallow I taste paint.
I think you know why I am moving. Card Shark is getting married and I need a new place to live. The house is a crack house. I got a call from a tipsy Card Shark last who asked me to tuff it out for a little longer. The Mexicans wanted to know what time I wake up on my days off. I told them 2pm and the negotiated me down to 10 am. They never showed and my sore throat woke me at noon. I had a full bladder that when drained was the color of tangerines. I have not eaten a tangerine in years, but I often sell them at work.
Some good news. Stephanie assures me that a car wash in the works so I am sure I will be getting my laptop soon. In other news I am still internetless and computerless. I am at the public library today. I forgot to eat breakfast but I am not too hungry right now. I can't live without the Internet. I love being online. It seems that Netflix had some problems delivering me my DVD's. I finally got 2 yesterday, so at least I have something to watch.
I was reading Women by Charles Bukowski a book that was suggested to me by Katie Schwartz. I loved it and took it to work where it got stolen. I am so pissed. Not because of the money (though it was 10 dollars down the drain) but because reading it was inspiring me to write my book of women as well. I was thinking I was almost as funny as the great Bukowski. I know. I was getting a bit ahead of myself. But writers like NFL quaterbacks need egos. the other book I ordered has yet to arrive but i think the Mexicans are in charge of mail collection now and I am worried that my book has been packed or lost. They already packed the remote control to the dvd player. They drank all my coke and and bottled water. I think you know how I feel about people drinking my coke. I can go bat ass crazy over that shit. Seriously if it weren't for the fact that they don't speak English and there was three of them I would have been ready for a beat down.. Quit fucking stealing my coke. Steal anything else. Anything but my coke.
I can't find the FRO. I left a note at the condo and it was still in place. I have varied the times I go over to the condo. I am texting and calling and e-mailing and no response. the house looks abandoned. I can't see much inside but a light that has remained on for the last week. Fro's working car is gone, but his broke down Geo is not. Someone left a note on the Geo hoping to buy the car. It reminded me of the time I sold my car on Craigslist and some guy bought the car for 250 dollars. He paid me 150 and said he would come back with the rest of the money. He never did. I sent him letters and he still did not pay me my money. Now I know what credit card companies feel like. Which reminds me that I am getting sued and need to file a response.
I feel like my life has become a lifetime "thriller" movie of the week. Only I act in real time not movie time. I have not seen the fro in a month or so. I am only now getting concerned. Maybe he is in jail for all the drunk driving he does. I am sure he won't like me talking about his drunk driving, but i need to elicit some kind of response from him to see if he is still alive. I am willing to pay half the rent at his place so I think it make good financial sense to get back to me as soon as possible.
I have 28 minutes left of internet time. I am typing very fast. I have already checked my e-mail and myspace pages. I need to watch some lifetime movies to figure out how to find my lost friend. I hope is not decomposing in the conod. Dead people smell is difficult to get out of a place and I will be forced to move in to one of those pay as you go monthly rentals. I really need to get a second job as a nightwatchman with Internet access so that I can keep up with the blogging.
Sorry I have no fat girl jokes today. I have no Internet celebrity news. I don't have time to look those things up and still write to you. All you have now in the homeless thing and the mystery of the missing Fro to keep you entertained.
I got a myspace from my best friend at my old job in the court house. I invited her to lunch. It will be nice to catch up. She was my original female friend. Since BF (to learn more about BF read the first months archives--I don't have time to link to stuff y'all!) I have had a few other female friends. (in real life. yo! a shout out to all my vgay peeps online --keep it real!) I really am growing as a person. Sometimes women aren't just vaginas. Well sometimes women have things to offer in addition to their vaginas.
Speaking of vagina my exgf can't talk to me anymore because she got kicked out of her sisters place and is back with baby daddy two who does not like her talking to me. I do inspire jealousy from male competitors. No reason to worry dude. I am not looking for a single mom with drama and two kids. She will probably get impregnated and I will end up with her at that point.
We have a new girl at work covering shifts from all the fired workers. She is super cute and 19 so I am in love. I announced to the world the other day that any person, "exhibiting the secondary sexual characteristics of the the female gender and being moderately attractive will find that I have a secret crush on said person." I am sure from my remarks she understands that we are meant to be together. Forever.
Lots going on and so little time to write. Funny I write more with no computer than when I had a computer. I won't take it for granted anymore. When I buy my computer I promise to write.
Keep up with the car washes! I can't stand the fumes anymore or walking on bear walls or how the TV echoes throughout the house. I find it creepy. Not as creepy as the prospect of the fromiester's decomposing (I always knew there was a 50% chance I would be the one to find his bloated and smelly) body, but creepy nonetheless.
Good night and good luck,
(tigra) *
*Hi bunny!**
**You said you would read the blog, bunny. I don't think you have. I knew I could not trust a vegan!
I think you know why I am moving. Card Shark is getting married and I need a new place to live. The house is a crack house. I got a call from a tipsy Card Shark last who asked me to tuff it out for a little longer. The Mexicans wanted to know what time I wake up on my days off. I told them 2pm and the negotiated me down to 10 am. They never showed and my sore throat woke me at noon. I had a full bladder that when drained was the color of tangerines. I have not eaten a tangerine in years, but I often sell them at work.
Some good news. Stephanie assures me that a car wash in the works so I am sure I will be getting my laptop soon. In other news I am still internetless and computerless. I am at the public library today. I forgot to eat breakfast but I am not too hungry right now. I can't live without the Internet. I love being online. It seems that Netflix had some problems delivering me my DVD's. I finally got 2 yesterday, so at least I have something to watch.
I was reading Women by Charles Bukowski a book that was suggested to me by Katie Schwartz. I loved it and took it to work where it got stolen. I am so pissed. Not because of the money (though it was 10 dollars down the drain) but because reading it was inspiring me to write my book of women as well. I was thinking I was almost as funny as the great Bukowski. I know. I was getting a bit ahead of myself. But writers like NFL quaterbacks need egos. the other book I ordered has yet to arrive but i think the Mexicans are in charge of mail collection now and I am worried that my book has been packed or lost. They already packed the remote control to the dvd player. They drank all my coke and and bottled water. I think you know how I feel about people drinking my coke. I can go bat ass crazy over that shit. Seriously if it weren't for the fact that they don't speak English and there was three of them I would have been ready for a beat down.. Quit fucking stealing my coke. Steal anything else. Anything but my coke.
I can't find the FRO. I left a note at the condo and it was still in place. I have varied the times I go over to the condo. I am texting and calling and e-mailing and no response. the house looks abandoned. I can't see much inside but a light that has remained on for the last week. Fro's working car is gone, but his broke down Geo is not. Someone left a note on the Geo hoping to buy the car. It reminded me of the time I sold my car on Craigslist and some guy bought the car for 250 dollars. He paid me 150 and said he would come back with the rest of the money. He never did. I sent him letters and he still did not pay me my money. Now I know what credit card companies feel like. Which reminds me that I am getting sued and need to file a response.
I feel like my life has become a lifetime "thriller" movie of the week. Only I act in real time not movie time. I have not seen the fro in a month or so. I am only now getting concerned. Maybe he is in jail for all the drunk driving he does. I am sure he won't like me talking about his drunk driving, but i need to elicit some kind of response from him to see if he is still alive. I am willing to pay half the rent at his place so I think it make good financial sense to get back to me as soon as possible.
I have 28 minutes left of internet time. I am typing very fast. I have already checked my e-mail and myspace pages. I need to watch some lifetime movies to figure out how to find my lost friend. I hope is not decomposing in the conod. Dead people smell is difficult to get out of a place and I will be forced to move in to one of those pay as you go monthly rentals. I really need to get a second job as a nightwatchman with Internet access so that I can keep up with the blogging.
Sorry I have no fat girl jokes today. I have no Internet celebrity news. I don't have time to look those things up and still write to you. All you have now in the homeless thing and the mystery of the missing Fro to keep you entertained.
I got a myspace from my best friend at my old job in the court house. I invited her to lunch. It will be nice to catch up. She was my original female friend. Since BF (to learn more about BF read the first months archives--I don't have time to link to stuff y'all!) I have had a few other female friends. (in real life. yo! a shout out to all my vgay peeps online --keep it real!) I really am growing as a person. Sometimes women aren't just vaginas. Well sometimes women have things to offer in addition to their vaginas.
Speaking of vagina my exgf can't talk to me anymore because she got kicked out of her sisters place and is back with baby daddy two who does not like her talking to me. I do inspire jealousy from male competitors. No reason to worry dude. I am not looking for a single mom with drama and two kids. She will probably get impregnated and I will end up with her at that point.
We have a new girl at work covering shifts from all the fired workers. She is super cute and 19 so I am in love. I announced to the world the other day that any person, "exhibiting the secondary sexual characteristics of the the female gender and being moderately attractive will find that I have a secret crush on said person." I am sure from my remarks she understands that we are meant to be together. Forever.
Lots going on and so little time to write. Funny I write more with no computer than when I had a computer. I won't take it for granted anymore. When I buy my computer I promise to write.
Keep up with the car washes! I can't stand the fumes anymore or walking on bear walls or how the TV echoes throughout the house. I find it creepy. Not as creepy as the prospect of the fromiester's decomposing (I always knew there was a 50% chance I would be the one to find his bloated and smelly) body, but creepy nonetheless.
Good night and good luck,
(tigra) *
*Hi bunny!**
**You said you would read the blog, bunny. I don't think you have. I knew I could not trust a vegan!
Friday, August 15, 2008
I am still homeless. The fro won't asnwer the door!
I am still homeless and the only thing I know about being homeless is that homeless people don't have refrigerators and without refrigerators I don't know how they keep their baloney sandwiches from spoiling which I guess is why homeless people just drink beer because you can buy beer cold and the one good thing about beer is that is makes you forget all your problems.
I had forgotten that about beer because I don't like drinking beer when I am upset, but I am considering changing all that as beer makes the slow nights after work with no computer and no netflix bearable. I need something good in my life as the construction wakes me up early which is why you are getting all these lousy blogs with no spell check and no forethought. I know what you are thinking, "not much different from your previous stuff." Thanks. I guess I will stop taking two hours to write one post and just throw up a new blog entry everyday!
I haven't told Card Shark that I have decided to make him the villain in my eviction. He won't like that as he always wants people to like him and he is hoping I make the fiance the bad guy. But I won't do that to her. I know I should not try and make him feel bad about making me homeless but it is too easy as he has a lot of guilt built up over the years from his many indiscretions.
Enjoy your microwave ovens and peeing indoors, bitches!
Romius Texis
the homeless blogger
the blogger without a computer
I hope subway has a deal on a sub. I'm hungry.
I had forgotten that about beer because I don't like drinking beer when I am upset, but I am considering changing all that as beer makes the slow nights after work with no computer and no netflix bearable. I need something good in my life as the construction wakes me up early which is why you are getting all these lousy blogs with no spell check and no forethought. I know what you are thinking, "not much different from your previous stuff." Thanks. I guess I will stop taking two hours to write one post and just throw up a new blog entry everyday!
I haven't told Card Shark that I have decided to make him the villain in my eviction. He won't like that as he always wants people to like him and he is hoping I make the fiance the bad guy. But I won't do that to her. I know I should not try and make him feel bad about making me homeless but it is too easy as he has a lot of guilt built up over the years from his many indiscretions.
Enjoy your microwave ovens and peeing indoors, bitches!
Romius Texis
the homeless blogger
the blogger without a computer
I hope subway has a deal on a sub. I'm hungry.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I am moving and that means I won't have the internet for a while
Which I guess should depress you, but it won't depress you as much as it does me. I am addicted to the Internet. I am at the library today so I don't have time to write a long post or correct my spelling. I won't have a podcast for while either even though I have enough material for two or three podcasts. I know you don't care about the podcast, but I figure it is my one last shot at getting famous as this blog only has 3 readers one of those readers is 13. So maybe you won't miss me. But I have a feeling you will when the emptiness of your existence is made apparent by my absence.
I will be moving back to my old place of residence with my awesome roommate the FRO. The Fro hates when I talk about his gout and drinking escapades, but there really is not much else to talk about with the fro.
My roommate Card Shark has decided to get married and that means I am getting evicted. I get to live in the house while they do all the repairs and upgrades that the house has needed for the last few years. So I get to live in crack house and the wife gets wood floors. I guess it pays to have a pussy more often than not. Either way I a computerless as I was using Card Sharks computer and that has been boxed up. He has ripped out the carpets so I am walking around in a death trap. I stepped on a thumb tack and I am sure I will need a tetanus shot. I am deducting all my medical expenses from my last weeks rent.
I am not sure if the fro has Internet or a computer anymore and I will have to save some money for a computer of my own because I am tired of not being able to collect child porn on the computer that I borrow. I think I need to save about 150 dollars to get a computer that will let me surf the Internet. I am planning on cutting off Netflix and eating baloney sandwiches for the next two months so I can afford a used computer and a wireless router and broadband access. I will try and post when I can from the library, but that means I won't respond to much e-mail or your comments, or read your blogs for while as all I get is an hour of free Internet a day at the library and even that time has to come early in the morning before I go to work and if you know me you know I don't like being awake so damn early.
I think Cars Shark expected me to stay a little longer in the house but like I said it is a crack house now with no computer, no floors, and 3 Mexican workers hammering at the crack of dawn. I can see how the house is going to be nice for the new wife. For instance the new locks the mexicans installed don't need to be jiggled with a key to open. It sucks that the locks get fixed on my last day there. I was always annoyed by jiggling the key. Also the new lights in the kitchen are replaced, I no longer need to use the flash on my camera when I post a (cooking with t.) segment from that kitchen. Again all useless to me and franky the lights in the kitchen will go unused as the family moving in (team card shark and wife) are not exactly cooks.
Well folks I am thirsty and I need to go to work. I will be hunting for a part time job at night so that I can afford all my bills. I want the internet and I want a computer and the only way you ever get anything in life is by working for it. hahah
Sorry, I could not keep a straight face with that line of bullshit.
I will miss you guys but keep checking for periodic posts and go ahead and comment I will try to answer them.
Lucky Charms is not only a great cereal it is a great alias!
Stephanie:
I can't disagree with you. I am all about laying down a moral or two and I think this blog is fine for those over 13 who have a parent like you at home. I was just giving you a hard time. I am kind of surprised that a 13 year old boy might find this blog entertaining with all video games out there. I just think that he should hiding from you looking at stuff like this like I did with my parents. All this openness and refreshing ability to interact with your kids is weird to me as my parents did not want to know anything about what I was doing if it did not involve getting A's in school. They liked to bury their heads in the sand and pretend that their children were not growing up so probably so they did not have to face growing up which I guess is why I am so good at being a grown up too.
Lucky:
You new Britney before she became Britney? Wow! I once got Hillary duff's sister to email me. Not quite the same thing but you get my point.
So for now good bye. But not for long I hope. Soon I will post about my "crazy" night with my ex. That should keep you looking forward. Don't forget the archives folks. Most of that shit is funny. I trust like the the fro you will start at the beginning and read a new (old) post every day. Then you can go the forums at the podcast and start debating what it all means. You don't need lives you've got me. Start a car wash and get my computer. I want a laptop and a desktop and i want 3 gigs bitches!
Your favorite homeless blogger,
Romius Texis
I will be moving back to my old place of residence with my awesome roommate the FRO. The Fro hates when I talk about his gout and drinking escapades, but there really is not much else to talk about with the fro.
My roommate Card Shark has decided to get married and that means I am getting evicted. I get to live in the house while they do all the repairs and upgrades that the house has needed for the last few years. So I get to live in crack house and the wife gets wood floors. I guess it pays to have a pussy more often than not. Either way I a computerless as I was using Card Sharks computer and that has been boxed up. He has ripped out the carpets so I am walking around in a death trap. I stepped on a thumb tack and I am sure I will need a tetanus shot. I am deducting all my medical expenses from my last weeks rent.
I am not sure if the fro has Internet or a computer anymore and I will have to save some money for a computer of my own because I am tired of not being able to collect child porn on the computer that I borrow. I think I need to save about 150 dollars to get a computer that will let me surf the Internet. I am planning on cutting off Netflix and eating baloney sandwiches for the next two months so I can afford a used computer and a wireless router and broadband access. I will try and post when I can from the library, but that means I won't respond to much e-mail or your comments, or read your blogs for while as all I get is an hour of free Internet a day at the library and even that time has to come early in the morning before I go to work and if you know me you know I don't like being awake so damn early.
I think Cars Shark expected me to stay a little longer in the house but like I said it is a crack house now with no computer, no floors, and 3 Mexican workers hammering at the crack of dawn. I can see how the house is going to be nice for the new wife. For instance the new locks the mexicans installed don't need to be jiggled with a key to open. It sucks that the locks get fixed on my last day there. I was always annoyed by jiggling the key. Also the new lights in the kitchen are replaced, I no longer need to use the flash on my camera when I post a (cooking with t.) segment from that kitchen. Again all useless to me and franky the lights in the kitchen will go unused as the family moving in (team card shark and wife) are not exactly cooks.
Well folks I am thirsty and I need to go to work. I will be hunting for a part time job at night so that I can afford all my bills. I want the internet and I want a computer and the only way you ever get anything in life is by working for it. hahah
Sorry, I could not keep a straight face with that line of bullshit.
I will miss you guys but keep checking for periodic posts and go ahead and comment I will try to answer them.
Lucky Charms is not only a great cereal it is a great alias!
Stephanie:
I can't disagree with you. I am all about laying down a moral or two and I think this blog is fine for those over 13 who have a parent like you at home. I was just giving you a hard time. I am kind of surprised that a 13 year old boy might find this blog entertaining with all video games out there. I just think that he should hiding from you looking at stuff like this like I did with my parents. All this openness and refreshing ability to interact with your kids is weird to me as my parents did not want to know anything about what I was doing if it did not involve getting A's in school. They liked to bury their heads in the sand and pretend that their children were not growing up so probably so they did not have to face growing up which I guess is why I am so good at being a grown up too.
Lucky:
You new Britney before she became Britney? Wow! I once got Hillary duff's sister to email me. Not quite the same thing but you get my point.
So for now good bye. But not for long I hope. Soon I will post about my "crazy" night with my ex. That should keep you looking forward. Don't forget the archives folks. Most of that shit is funny. I trust like the the fro you will start at the beginning and read a new (old) post every day. Then you can go the forums at the podcast and start debating what it all means. You don't need lives you've got me. Start a car wash and get my computer. I want a laptop and a desktop and i want 3 gigs bitches!
Your favorite homeless blogger,
Romius Texis
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