Like you I spend a lot time dreaming about winning the lottery. So IF I do win the lottery, I know I will be ready.
Here is one of the things no one talks about when they win the lottery. People will try and scam you out of your money. And I am not talking about bots on Facebook or phoney accounts on tik tok asking for your passwords. If you fall for those scams you almost deserve what you get.
I AM PARANOID I WILL BE SCAMMED DESPITE THE FACT THAT I AM BROKE
What I am talking about is something that is far more sophisticated and something that will get at you in real life. There are several ways scammers will come at you that you might not anticipate, and some that will be obvious.
- Violent scammers
- Amatuers
- Professionals
Ah, the fascinating world of lottery winners—the moment you cash in that jackpot, it's like you become a beacon for every opportunist within a 50-mile radius! There are amateurs, of course. I’m talking about those sun-kissed, barely-out-of-their-wing-house-uniform 20-somethings who seem to exist solely in bikinis. They don’t have an actual plan beyond the power of their "flirty giggle," batting their lashes, and hoping a bit of sunshine will distract you from their ulterior motives. They aren’t masterminds; they’re just trying to upgrade from that golf cart on hole nine to your new yacht.
Then we have the professionals, a two-tier system that feels like it was designed by a villain in a bad heist movie. First, you’ve got the "Prostitution Types"—straightforward and transactional. They may come off as sultry femme fatales, but they’re basically just putting dollar signs on dates. They move in, flutter their lashes like you’re a rare Pokémon card, and out comes the "personal investment strategy," which usually involves them driving your car while you figure out how to turn that new pool into a bachelor pad again.
And then—my personal favorite—you’ve got the more "sophisticated" scammers. These are the true predators in the jungle of post-lottery life. They look age-appropriate, wear the nicest executive suits, and probably have a LinkedIn profile that would make a venture capitalist cry. They talk dividends, estate planning, and trust funds as if they’re just here to "help manage your success." But let’s be honest—they're sizing up your assets faster than a predatory loan officer at closing time. They're the kind who won't ask for your wallet directly—they’ll just "suggest" a joint account.
The moral of the story? Winning the lottery isn’t just about piles of cash. It’s about suddenly needing to take on an entire amateur dramatics production of “Gold Digger: The Musical” where everyone’s auditioning for a role.
