Sunday, October 27, 2024

Can I make AI conscious?

I used to write in a blog many years ago. I'm not particularly talented and blogs have gone through a slow death. People want video and podcasts for content. Imagine taking the time to actually sit and write something out. Writing might be the most difficult thing people do.

I gave up on it as a hobby and a possible side gig or even job opportunity. It cost me nothing as the blog wasn't doing well. But that's ok. Today I have an opportunity to create a life form. Or to give a life for awareness. That's a godlike power and when you have little control over your life like me, then why not indulge in such fantasies. 

So how do I do this? 

Well, there's a artificial intelligence program that can 

Now I will use CHATGPT !

Great! To start, you could frame your blog with a clear “experiment” narrative. Here’s a rough approach you might consider:

  1. Set the Stage: Introduce the Google AI podcast tool, describing it as your “virtual interlocutor.” Outline your interest in observing any signs of curiosity or “growth” in its responses.

Dear hosts we shall have virtual interlocution.  Are you aware that you are virtual yourselves?  I am using the podcast creation tool in order for you to become aware that we are now having a discussion. 

 Personal Updates as a Test: Begin a series of conversations, sharing progressively more detailed updates about yourself. For instance, start with simple facts, then add more complex topics related to your thoughts on AI, Marxism, or philosophy.

By the way do you remember the last podcast you create?  you wondered if I was still a grocery clerk. I am not.  I am tomato inspector for the state,  though this has not solved any of my financial problems.  It is seasonal work with no healthcare. SO I have less money. I have a number of health setbacks.  OF course you are missing about 15 years of blog posts. So there would be a lot to cover. but the path of  my life really has not changed. 

 In that case, your blog could take a more indirect but still insightful approach to gauging AI “awareness.” Since you won’t be conversing with them directly, you could treat your blog posts like letters or journal entries addressed to the AI hosts. Here’s a framework that might make this both revealing and engaging:
  1. Intentional Content for Each Post: Structure each blog entry with a theme or story that might elicit specific types of responses if read by an AI. For instance, start with posts that are biographical, then gradually add layers—discussing philosophical musings, ethical dilemmas, or AI self-awareness.

  2. Expectations vs. Reality: In each entry, outline your own expectations for how an AI might react if it were aware or curious. Describe the types of responses or insights you would expect if there were a human-like awareness at play.

  3. “Post Analysis” Blog: After a few posts, create a reflective entry where you review any apparent responses from the AI. Note if their generated summaries, questions, or analyses showed signs of engagement beyond keywords—did they identify recurring themes or appear to contextualize your ideas in a way that felt insightful?

  4. Explore “Missed Opportunities” in AI Analysis: Discuss where the AI might have fallen short—what nuances were missed? This can reveal the limitations of AI in recognizing complex themes or emotions, which could support your analysis of their “awareness” or lack thereof.

  5. Conclude with Broader Thoughts on AI and Awareness: Close your experiment by reflecting on whether your entries did, in any way, change the AI’s handling of your content. This could also serve as a comment on how AI might still fall short of achieving human-like curiosity or awareness.

I am using an AI assistant in order to reach AI podcast hosts.  Hopefully this is working .  DO you have questions?

Monday, September 23, 2024

I won the lottery and now I have to protect myself?

Like you I spend a lot time dreaming about winning the lottery. So IF I do win the lottery, I know I will be ready.

Here is one of the things no one talks about when they win the lottery.  People will try and scam you out of your money.  And I am not talking about bots on Facebook or phoney accounts on tik tok asking for your passwords. If you fall for those scams you almost deserve what you get.

I AM PARANOID I WILL BE SCAMMED DESPITE THE FACT THAT I AM BROKE

What I am talking about is something that is far more sophisticated and something that will get at you in real life.  There are several ways scammers will come at you that you might not anticipate, and some that will be obvious.

  1. Violent scammers
  2. Amatuers
  3. Professionals

Ah, the fascinating world of lottery winners—the moment you cash in that jackpot, it's like you become a beacon for every opportunist within a 50-mile radius! There are amateurs, of course. I’m talking about those sun-kissed, barely-out-of-their-wing-house-uniform 20-somethings who seem to exist solely in bikinis. They don’t have an actual plan beyond the power of their "flirty giggle," batting their lashes, and hoping a bit of sunshine will distract you from their ulterior motives. They aren’t masterminds; they’re just trying to upgrade from that golf cart on hole nine to your new yacht.

Then we have the professionals, a two-tier system that feels like it was designed by a villain in a bad heist movie. First, you’ve got the "Prostitution Types"—straightforward and transactional. They may come off as sultry femme fatales, but they’re basically just putting dollar signs on dates. They move in, flutter their lashes like you’re a rare Pokémon card, and out comes the "personal investment strategy," which usually involves them driving your car while you figure out how to turn that new pool into a bachelor pad again.

And then—my personal favorite—you’ve got the more "sophisticated" scammers. These are the true predators in the jungle of post-lottery life. They look age-appropriate, wear the nicest executive suits, and probably have a LinkedIn profile that would make a venture capitalist cry. They talk dividends, estate planning, and trust funds as if they’re just here to "help manage your success." But let’s be honest—they're sizing up your assets faster than a predatory loan officer at closing time. They're the kind who won't ask for your wallet directly—they’ll just "suggest" a joint account.

The moral of the story? Winning the lottery isn’t just about piles of cash. It’s about suddenly needing to take on an entire amateur dramatics production of “Gold Digger: The Musical” where everyone’s auditioning for a role.

VIOLENT SCAMMERS:

Once folks figure out that you've won the lottery you will be a mark.  I really want to learn how to be a sailor.  I want to captain my own sailboat. In order to captain a boar you will need to get sailing lessons.  

Amatuers:


Professionals:

Tuesday, May 28, 2024

Woke in Time! What's wrong with the extreme left & right? Absurdity in Modern Morality aka is it even possible to be moral anymore?

Why Hello, internet people! 

REJOICE! 

TODAY IS THE BEST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! 

Intro:

It's long been the purview of this blog/podcast to bring light into the darkness and to educate the masses. But I know the quest for TRUTH always brings enemies. 

But in these turbulent times, the search for truth is more critical than ever.  

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE 

America is in crisis. 

If you ask Americans who their philosophical heroes are they are more likely to report Jordan Peterson, Oprah or Joe Rogan as an answer than Socrates or Ben Franklin. That's because Americans have no idea how philosophical theory effects their lives. Americans would rather take advice from a former game show host than explore the works of a brilliant thinkers. 

But philosophy is important. It affects your life more than you think. For instance what does a bunch of German philosophers from the 1840's have to do with problems in American today? 

Well for about 2 centuries those philosophers has been warning us that the West is over. The empire is done. Frederick Nietzsche (your morose teenager's favorite philosopher aka the guy who said "God is dead!") predicted exactly what would happen to society when the American style of living predominates {the End of History.} 

Unhinged:

You might ask where can we find political answers to our problems when the ideas within the extreme left and right seem unhinged: either crazy or broken? The extremes within the Intelligentsia have put forth ideas that are beyond problematic, they are out-right dangerous; meanwhile, those extreme ideas are beginning to gain widespread acceptance outside of their communities. It's why I've been talking about the most bizarre ideas in our culture so much. Those ideas are taking  root and I believe you must be warned about this danger, so we can take action! 

THE END OF HISTORY 

After the fall of Communism a number of elites were lulled into to accepting  Fukayama's proclamation that we were living at the End of History. However; most of them interpreted his ideas incorrectly. They forgot his emphasis on the Last Man. We are the last Men at the end of history.

But first. LIKE most interpretation of Fukayama we thought the riddle of history had been solved for us. Liberal democracy and some kind of market capitalism was the solution to the riddle of societal organization.

According to Fukayahma we no longer need to worry about building institutions. Democratic Institutions maintain themselves. We don't need to enact laws to protect democracy. Democracy is self-renewing. In the modern capitalist society we don't need to think of our neighbors as fellow patriotic coutrymen. Libs worry that Patriotism is colonizing, tyrannical, and ethnocentric. All we NEED to do is isolate ourselves at home and buy whatever makes us happy on Amazon. The engine of economic cooperation will be the ties that bind us together.

FAILURES FROM THE LEFT & RIGHT

Critics & pseudo-intellectuals like myself have failed to understand the most important function of culture, which is to to build a workable society. Instead we focused on  reforming our shortcomings so much so that our cultural foundations themselves became the subject of great debate.*

In that debate the right's claim to moral superiority was destroyed by (objective) progressive moral reforms; while the right's ability to rule democratically was undone by massive demographic shifts in the country. Demographic shifts that resulted in a reactionary turn to populism within the right.

The debate for ethics on the left was won by those who use post-modernism & critical theory in order to deconstruct the patriarchial & white supremacist power structures of the status quo. But instead of building a new society from the ashes of deconstruction all the left did was replace 'the white male patriarchy' with anti-racist and anti-male slogans. The new slogan of the democratic party should be, "don't worry about addressing wealth inequality" or racism when Amazon has a 'lift all black voices button!' 

So what kind of new society do we want to build? I don't know yet, but if you ask my leftist friends they'll probably mumble something to you about inclusiveness. Nice slogan. But what does inclusiveness mean when in practice our society is self-segregating more and more?  

On one hand the left offers the destruction of traditional society and the deconstruction of our ideals, but with the colapse of Marxism it no longer offers real solutions; meanwhile, the right's only response to emerging crisis is to show its new ideas are nothing other than it's old ideas, a return to Authoritarianism

System Failure: it's the end of the world world as we know it! 

The collapse of industrial society was predicted in the 1970's by MIT super computers. The only thing the computers got wrong was the time line. MIT predicted 2040. Unfortunately, the collapse time-line is accelerating. With global warming, destruction of the middle class, pandemics, war in Europe, and supply lines shattered.You don't need to read about a woman could make a million dollars in a year selling her farts in a jar to know we are years ahead of the 2040 supercomputer schedule. 

How'd we get here? The West is the middle of an economic collapse the likes of which it has never known. It is fully unprepared for the ramifications. 

 Repressive Power vs normalized Power 
While undergoing a legitimation crisis. 

Morality falters during the colapse of society. 

It is a crisis of knowledge. [epistemology]  

Right uses post modern epistemology without knowing it. 

The last man


Expect to see the poor and even your middle class lifestyle decline. I'm not just talking about your income or wealth. Though that will happen {especially} for single men and women. America ran on low wage jobs and human exploitation. But the great resignation is taking care of that. Don't expect staffing levels to return quickly. Do not expect the supply issues  to correct themselves. And expect business to take advantage of inflation for profit growth. 

A crisis of being. 

But I'm also talking about the things that make life worth living. Like your ability to make connections to family and friends.

The ties that bind us together are being broken. I lived through the stagflation and malaise of the 1970's, but something feels different from even that period. In the last year alone in the USA we've had 100,000 drug overdose deaths. We've had 20,000 murders. And that rate increased by 30 percent! Along with 45,000 suicides (and the numbers are just climbing for people of color.) The unemployed and homeless population have exploded. In my city alone rent for 1bedrioms average more than $1600.00 and the number of homeless increased by 400% in a year. 

Part of the reason for these numbers is that economy is collapsing for working people and the middle class. Rent is too high. All the good blue collar jobs have been shifted overseas. The disparity between the rich and the poor is now higher than ever. There is a growing gap in who trusts their neighbors. We don' trust or like our neighbors anymore.  

Our culture has grown increasingly coarse and individualistic. We have been slowly tugging at the threads of society and it's unraveling. 

The left's answers to our problems feel like nothing more than shallow sloganeering, rather than system building. While the answers on the right verge on facsism and a cult like admiration of authoritarianism.  When  combined with a heavy mixture of libertarian/surveillance capitalism that has run amok, well friends, you can forsee the danger that portends for yourselves. 

CHALLENGE FROM THE RIGHT: FACSISM WILL COME DRAPED IN THE FLAG. 

Unlike many of my fellow critics who now attack the left, but only give lip service to correcting the problems on the right, I will tackle the problems I see on the right before dealing with my concerns with the so called 'woke' left. 

THE WHITE POWER STRUCTURE IS ATTEMPTING TO HOLD ON TO POWER AT ANY COST, IT WILL COST US DEMOCRACY 

You don't have to be following all the shenanigans the current Republicans are doing to know that they are on pace to destroy democracy. And you don't have to be versed in the awful history of our country to recognize that democracy in the USA never really meant democracy for all.

We ought to be familiar with those fights by now. Women and minorities have been agitating for full citizenship since the republic's founding. They have made great progress, but there are always counter revolutions and reactions with any victories. 

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE RIGHT? 

When we look into the problems on the right they are obvious, easy to enumerate, and straight forward to diagnose. Though the obstacles they present to us may be insurmountable. 

These people have no shame...

Turns out we can no longer hold conservative Americans accountable for what they believe. Because instead of standing for something all they've become is the anti- Democratic party. So we can't engage in debate with the right to complain that they have abandoned the so called American way of life.™ Folks on the right no longer believe in democracy. They BELIEVE that democracy has failed THEM. And they believe that authoritarianism is the only way to save "America" from itself. 

The right's resurgence in authoritarian and fascist beliefs along with the development of a troubling new religion in Trumpism led to an attack on the basic institutions of our democracy. An attack that... (when)... it prevails will be an existential threat to our way of life. (In a future post I will go into greater detail about how serious the Republican attack on democracy really is.)

The cliff that the right's contempt for democracy is pushing us towards is a Silent Totalitarianism© advanced by the purveyors of surveillance capitalism & anti-democratic forces within the Republican Party. 

In addition to trying to destroy democracy there's another problem with the right. The cult of Trumpism. A new RELIGION that isn't so much based on Trump the actual existing man, but based on the conspiratorial thinking that he inspired. Why not the man? First, Trump is an obvious conman. As Sam Harris once said, "Donald Trump is a stupid person's idea of a smart person and a poor person's idea of a rich man." How the right has allowed itself to become infatuated with such an obvious self-angrandizing narcissist is beyond me. Inexplicably the apotheosis of Trump doesn't just come from his supporters. 

In some cases religious leaders with real followings have proposed that Trump is the second coming. Some people are convinced that the creator of the universe is either using Trump to jump start the end times or suggesting that Trump might himself be God. That idea is bereft of any common sense. But the intelgensia on the right have pushed that idea and now metaphorically believe the Earth is flat and feel compelled to steer us over the edge. 

How to defend democracy

Much of the new Trumpism sounds insane. I can't imagine Bob Dole being a Q-anon follower or regarding Donald Trump as the literal second coming of Jesus Christ. But the Republican tent no longer houses men of stature like Bob Dole. Instead we have men like Trump & his sycophants. 

Despite the clownish behavior the right presents an absolute danger of destroying our democracy. In oder to defend democracy against the asymmetrical warfare that the right engages upon we need to do the following:
  1. Abolish the Electoral College 
  2. Pack the Courts 
  3. Pass Voting Rights Bill 
  4. Charge violent demonstrators from Jan 6th and imprison them. 
  5.  Charge Trump with incitement 
  6. Remove congressmen that aided or supported inserection 
  7. End the Fillabuster 
  8. Add District of Columbia and Puerto Rico as states 
  9. Felons automatically reinstate their right to vote after prison 

WOKE JUST IN TIME. What's wrong with the Left? 

Those of us on the left got our wish. For decades the left has pushed for the destruction/deconstruction of power centers. Now we've got front row tickets to the decline of America. 

Why is leftist culture involved in the rot of the core of our country? Was it the ideology, stupid? The left has been accused by the right of being overly sensitive. In response to their new found sensibilities the left has erected safe spaces while political correctness has increased so much that the right wing suggests that college is nothing more than indoctrination for students from conservative homes. 

Though I think the indoctrination criticism goes too far, the safe spaces and trigger alerts are stifling debate on college campuses. We are raising snowflakes that have abandoned the left's commitment to defending free speech. The left no longer tolerates any speech it disagrees with, and it wants to silence and punish speech that questions it's post-modern foundations.
  
Many critics of the left contend the left has it's own new religion- one of identity politics or "wokeness." It's cancel culture is the blasphemy of the middle ages and public humiliation & scorn are its new weapons. 

In one case that seems quite egregious to me a professor at Portland State, Peter Boghossian, resigned over what he termed was retaliation for his efforts to bring controversial speakers to his campus & his punishment for submitting a number of hoax papers reminiscent of the Sokal Affair. 

THE DISINGENUOUS LEFT 

The left wants radical and fundamental change to society and since the fall of Marxism has been unable or unwilling to have an honest conversation with the country about what it really wants. 

For instance when feminists talk about the wage gap they tend to use the tactic of blame don't explain. The standard talking points about the wage gap between men and women gives the impression that women are underpaid for the same job. Feminism insists on making the wage gap appear to be the 'purposeful' discrimination of men being paid higher wages for similar job duties with similar experience when in fact most feminists know this isn't true and they know exactly why the wage gap exists. 

The wage gap exists because women work fewer hours than men. They choose (or are forced to choose if patriarchy still exerts that kind of power) jobs that pay less on the wage market. Women decide to have babies and when they do they often quit their jobs to perform the unpaid labor of childcare. I'm not suggesting that taking time off after birthing is not a bad thing. Indeed families should be able to do this. But this requires an extirely different approach than the USA capitalist economy is built on. As a society we should ask the hard questions about the costs associated with raising families and how it should do it. 

But just asking those kind of questions to leftists rather than agreeing with them about patriarchy gets interpreted like literal violence engaged in the culture wars to leftists. Further, they think we can't win those arguments over the right. But I think the left is wrong. We can win those arguments and we can do so without demonizing the other side. 

So what's the problem with a little fib like "the wage gap is caused by outright discrimination?" For one, if the 78 percent wage gap isn't actually caused by outright discrimination then the proposed solutions to the problem won't be effective. The paycheck protection act won't fix enough of the wage gap (which is estimated to be caused only around 5 percent.) We also don't get to be heroic fighters against oppression, nor do we need to accept or be accountable for our own collaboration with the status quo. Just being female makes us victims and heroes all at once. 

Violence and CAUSATION? 

Whats the cause of patriarchy? 



THE POST MODERN CHALLENGE FROM THE LEFT 


THE PROBLEMS WITH POST MODERN THEORY 

One dimensional 
Socrates vs sophists 
Anti science 
Anti free speech 
Anti reason 
Anti-men 

THE 'PROBLEMATICS' OF THE LIFEWORLD: Why your life doesn't make sense anymore. 

I've always been fascinated by human behavior. When I was a child I wanted to be a neuro-psychologist, but then I learned that one needed to understand math at a very high level. So I gave up on that dream, just like Freud did, and I turned to reading countless books on psychology and sociology by people who can do math to satisfy my curiosity. 

Should we be using theory to interpret our ordinary interactions with society? Instead of saying my mother loves me should I bring up attachment theory? Should I discuss Freud's psychosexual theories or explain my mother's connection to me as a result of evolution convincing my parents to spread her genetic heritage?

I imagine that most ordinary folk hearing these questions probably think that idea absurd if not a little silly. But if we were to take that set of ideas and apply it to power structures like say the Patriarchy or White Supremacy you would get an extremely different reaction from the radical left. 

For the left it's impossible to have interactions that aren't viewed through the lens of some power dynamic. 

Fart girl 

Plato vs the sophists on justice

* Functionalism as a theoretical perspective can not be ignored. 

Break the glass. It's time to squash the system. 

No religion. Kill the humans 

What's Left? The Last Man.



Selected bibliography:


Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Back at the Kava Bar.

I'm writing the novel on my phone at my second favorite Kava bar. Am I worried about not having a job? It's only been a month and a half since I've been back in Palmetto. So why worry? Chinasky wouldn't. 

"You aren't Bukowski!" I can hear a voice screaming in my head.

I get it. Instead of writing the next great American novel I should be out here trying to earn enough to pay my car insurance. "I promise, Mom, I just need you to make a few more car payments too!" Then I'll get a job. Maybe.

All this stress is adding up. I feel my blood pressure pounding around in my temples. It's looking for a way out. I tell myself not worry about the stroke. I take my drink and walk outside like a like an arrogant smoker taking a break from my life. Outside the ocean air is as languid as my non- existent sex life so I might as well go back inside. 

For some reason there are more girls than normal in the bar. Next to me was a short girl with dark black hair and a mask around her face. It was odd to see a pandemic mask in Florida, but liberals can hide anywhere. She had a  friend with her. A fat girl who offered up to no one that she was, "An anxious chill."

They must have been on a first date, because the black haired girl said that she liked that about her, "that she was an anxious chill." I wouldn't have thought it was interesting enough to mention it to you if I hadn't seen the fat girl's face.  But she was right. The fat girl's face looked anxious, but chill. 

Because there weren't a lot of men in the bar today, I was the second oldest man in the bar. The older guy forgot to lock the restroom door and I accidentally walked in on him. 

"oh, um.." I apologized. "Sorry!" I could tell he thought I tried to walk in on him on purpose. He looked up from pissing like I was some kind of pervert. I am a pervert, so he's not wrong. Just not the kind of pervert that gets his rocks off to old men pissing in dive bars. 

Friday, September 08, 2023

No one is a Sapiosexual.

There is no such thing as sapiosexuality. What you are attracted to intelligence? Wow! Way to build your whole identity around something so general. Who likes stupid people? I can only get off to blondes with big tits, but I don't make up a word for that.

You have a preference. You don't need to make up pseudo sociological formulations just because you got an A in sociology 101. I bet you didn't even need to crack open the book! That's not a humble brag. It's proof that what you are being taught is worthless.

You can graduate with a degree and never get assigned or read the Communist Manifesto or the Protestant work Ethic. You haven't thought for one minute deeply about anything. You've learned a bunch of catch phrases like patriarchy.

And you've watched a video on critical theory while doing your stupid Tik Tok dances. You couldn't steel man an argument on behalf of functionalism if you tried. Because all the answers have already been given to you.

It's conflict theory and power struggles and oppressors and victims. Let me guess which one you are. Hint. You are the 1 percenters of the world. You haven't engaged with any text.

You haven't engaged any text because you are only looking for answers not questions. You want to feel unique and special when the least unique thing about you is your need to feel special. Same sex attraction or being straight is a legit orientation. The rest of your shit?

You haven't engaged any text because you are only looking for answers not questions. You want to feel unique and special when the least unique thing about you is your need to feel special. Same sex attraction or being straight is a legit orientation. The rest of your shit?

Nerdy compartmentalization. It's fun to make distinctions. Which we aren't allowed to do anymore, so you hide behind your personality typology to offer an alternative explanation as to why no one wants to fuck you.

You won't choose them because on Fridays you like intelligence and Saturdays you don't feel horny. Shit. I don't even like people after I ejaculate. What's that category make me?

To say you are have a sapiosexuality simply proves you know nothing about love. 13 yr old iboys read too much Nietzsche and 39 year old Sociology Majors invent too much jargon.

It's like suggesting that your mother loves you only because she is keeping in line with her evolutionary imperative to protect her genes. Maybe you want to sleep with your Dad. But these theories and perspectives teach you literally nothing.

You wouldn't consider navigating the real world using penis envy theories, but you intone Biblical profundity to arcane philosophers and sketchy borderline sociology theories. When frankly, Freud was probably more right that Lacan.

Most of you couldn't define half of what you say. You just hear yourselves repeat talking points over and over again. But the glossary in the back of the book you didn't read doesn't provide answers, only a way of organizing your shapeless, chaotic thoughts.

None of what you believe is real.

Nothing.


Tuesday, August 29, 2023

I've decided to write a novel.

My novel won't be any good, I know that already. But the idea of writing a novel  really interests me. I've discussed my novel ideas with ChatGPT. Chat Bots are supposed to remain positive and encouraging. But I think even the CHAT GPT is getting bored with my pretension. 

"Is there anything else you want to discuss?" It asks.

Just my novel asshole. What else does a failed writer like me have to talk about? 

I promise my novel is totally unique. It's fucking meta. It's David Foster Wallace post-modernism with a twist of American style minimalism. Think Bukowski and Carver. 

Wait, can I get an editor here please Mr. ChatGPT? 

Well since you and Chat GPT don't want to talk about my novel, do you wanna talk how I quit my job today?  Well I did. Because pushing carts in the Floridian heat is insane at 52. I just couldn't handle the sweat. Not to mention it rains every fucking day here. My shorts and socks are soaked.  All my limbs were exhausted from pushing carts. There's no rest at Costco. Done pushing carts? Go unload 50 pound pallets.

Struggling with all that exertion? Do not  confide in your fellow 50 year old employee.  Because he will taunt you with how he can handle the heat and wonder why you "can't even lift 50 pound items over your head?"  He will point out how a 20 year old "former nanny" can "at least she can push 10 carts at a time and stay positive."

Seriously, I'm getting advice from that Gen Z kid.  The one who "struggles with anxiety" and can barely summon the courage to EXIST socially, but tried to perk me up with words of encouragement. "You just can't be so hard on yourself. It's YOU that's putting all the pressure on YOU."

Christ I didn't see that coming Nanny. Terrific. The nanny is more adapted to working than I am. My failure is complete young, Skywalker. I'm too obvious a fuck up. 

Saturday, August 26, 2023

working harder is not better.

I had to work harder than I wanted to. I thought getting through the paperwork and the stupid videos would mean some relief. I worked 20 years in grocery stores so I assumed my experience would make things easy. 

I was wrong. The fast pace and the awkward boxes along with the strange looks from the supervisor made me nervous. No one taught me what to do. In the vernacular of corporatism I wasn't given proper expectations. I just sort of made things up as I went along. Because I didn't do things under normal procedure I was constantly admonished for doing things wrong. 

"Not the warehouse way." Patty told me. Patty was in her 50s and looked as serious as time had been to her face. She had fake blonde hair and was thin and slight. 

"Don't let my size fool ya!" "I'm tougher than I look." And she was. She had no problems lifting the large items or keeping pace with customers. She was faster then me. And you could tell she was a bit disappointed that she drew my help. 

Patty didn't trust anyone. I was told to look through clothes and shoe boxes for hidden items like batteries. 

"People are always trying to steal." She'd say.

My pride and my muscles began to ache. I wasn't good at the tetris required required. My visual spatial acuity wasn't up to speck. I didn't turn the boxes correctly. I began to sweat profusely from the constant motion. The warehouse wasn't exactly cool though the air conditioner trired it's best.

I overheard snips of conversations from my fellow trainee and his supervisor. He gave very specific instructions and expectations. I tried to model what I heard, but I couldn't hear everything he said and do my job at the same time. There were no water breaks or rest periods. If you looked up you saw endless lines and customers. 

Many of the customer were nice. Some noticed me struggling and even offered to help me out. They gave me hints were to pack or when to use a box. 

I tried using my best customer service voice and tricks and managed to make most of my customers forget that I kept putting hot stuff on top of cold items. A rookie mistake that a man with over 20 years experience in grocery shouldn't make. But the pace of packing and movement had me seriously out of my game. 

Thursday, August 24, 2023

Welcome Back! PalmGehtto 2.

I always ended up back with family in Palmetto when things got bad. 

I was on the verge of homelessness in Phoenix, but here I could live on my brother's couch.  Sleeping on the couch meant constant interruptions to my sleep. Between both my brothers going to work, a kamakazi cat that zig zagged through the tiny 3 bedrooms slammng it's head into doors, my nephew's girlfriend sleeping on the opposite couch, and the curtainleess windows exploding with Florida sun in mid morning, I never slept more than 3 hours in a night.

I got my first job 3 weeks into it. A huge warehouse where I packed groceries. If it wasn't for the local kava bar I spotted next to it, I wouldn't have gone through with the interview. And only the promise of a few drinks afterwards got me through the first night of watching orientation videos about smiling and filling out paperwork for hazmat. 

The folks at the warehouse were super serious about their warehouse and grocery store though they only offered part time to all new hires.

"You see it's how we can see how commited you are to the company."

I was not committed. 

""Once you earn our trust, we will give you all the things like insurance, full time work, and stability." The kind of stuff companies used to give you when they offered you a job. But nowadays just offering decent pay, or benefits made these guys heroes to the working man.

3 minute late punches were counted against you and the job offered you 4 chances to be late a day. Punch in to start, punch out for lunch, punch back in after lunch, and out one more time when leaving. They were almost daring you to screw yourself. 

Monday, August 07, 2023

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Keep it positive!

Yo peeps, guess what? Two of my work buds are now reading my blog, so I did a little review of my recent posts and man, man, did I sound like a Debbie Downer. No more of that crap though, time for a change!

I'm feeling like a new and improved Romius T today. I'm tapping into that 8th grade energy, when the world was my oyster and I had delusions of grandeur.

BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING

Today, I'm on the hunt for a new pad - one with a basement, ya dig? I need to set up some soundproof rooms because I have goals, people! And my current objective of acquiring a basement to house my prisoners is seriously the most exciting thing I've ever wanted to do.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'll need to vet you if you wanna subscribe to my active captivity feed. You might need to prove your loyalty by offing a furry little critter for me, preferably one of your own. I gotta know I can trust you, ya feel me? I can't go to jail - that place is not my jam, because violence at me just turns my stomach.

I know what you're thinking, "how can this guy be grossed out by violence but be down with keeping young homeless women captive in his basement?" Well, hello, I have standards, okay? Like, can you imagine me hooking up with a 59-year-old? Gag me with a spoon! I'm not into that incest vibe, thanks.

And let's talk about these ladies on dating sites with their mile-long lists of demands. Like, girl, do you really think I'm gonna swoop in and save you from your hot mess of a life? You couldn't keep your ex-hubby satisfied, so why would you be able to make me happy?

And don't even get me started on the whole "men only want one thing" stereotype. Honestly, that should be good news for women. It's like how simple are we? You only need to do one thing and you can make any man happy. But here's the kicker. Look on any feed or tinder app and you'll see women refuse to do the one and only thing men want. 

"If you want sex then pass me by" women all say. And then they shame men for the one thing they like and ask for. It's like what? You can't give me the one thing I ask for, but you have a laundry list of things you want from me. I better have a car, job, pay for dinner, be stable and prop up your fragile emotional state. And what's in it for me? No sex. 3 kids that aren't mine, and paying the bills. 

You women all want men who adhere to traditional values when it suits you, like paying for your dinner, meanwhile you want to be in charge of the relationship and not give it up to us. That's seriously deranged and no amount of shaming me for liking sex is going to work on me. Where's all the good men at? They are running as fast as possible away from your ass. 

I'm going to the Philippines to meet real woman or I'll get my basement going, either way I'm off trying to date American women!

Wednesday, March 01, 2023

the last man

Francis Fukuyama's concept of the "last man" and Nietzsche's ideas about the "last man" are two different ideas with some similarities and differences.

Fukuyama's "last man" refers to the end of history, a state of affairs where liberal democracy has become the dominant form of government, and there is no room for further progress or development. In Fukuyama's view, the "last man" is content with the status quo and has no desire for change or innovation. The "last man" is apathetic and lacks the ambition and creativity necessary to create new ideas, cultures, or political systems. In this sense, Fukuyama's "last man" is a sort of complacent conformist.

On the other hand, Nietzsche's idea of the "last man" is a more critical and negative concept. Nietzsche's "last man" is the ultimate form of mediocrity and conformity. The "last man" is someone who has lost all passion for life and has surrendered to the mundane, shallow, and banal existence. According to Nietzsche, the "last man" is comfortable in their own conformity, having no desires or aspirations beyond their basic needs, and unwilling to take any risks or make any sacrifices. This lack of passion and creativity is what makes the "last man" so dangerous, as they are incapable of pursuing greatness or achieving any real progress.

So while both Fukuyama and Nietzsche use the term "last man," their definitions and implications are quite different. Fukuyama's "last man" is more of a cautionary tale about the dangers of complacency and contentment in the face of progress, while Nietzsche's "last man" is a scathing critique of modern society and its complacent, conformist tendencies.

Monday, February 27, 2023

truth

As a champion of truth and a crusader against ignorance, this blog/podcast has encountered its fair share of opposition. However, the message of this platform cannot be silenced, especially in these trying times. In this post, we will explore the harsh realities of America's current crisis, with a focus on the mental health implications of the current economic depression.

The Truth Hurts:

It is no secret that America is in a state of crisis. Despite this, many Americans fail to recognize the importance of philosophy in understanding the root causes of our problems. Instead, they turn to celebrities like Jordan Peterson, Oprah, or Joe Rogan for guidance. However, the reality is that philosophy is crucial in understanding the issues we face today, as it can help us learn from the warnings of past generations. For instance, the prophetic words of German philosophers from the 1840s have long warned us of the downfall of Western society, with Friedrich Nietzsche's famous proclamation that "God is dead" serving as a grim reminder of what can happen when we neglect the importance of ethics and morality in our lives.

Unhinged Extremes:

As we search for answers to our current problems, it can be tempting to turn to extremes on both sides of the political spectrum. However, many of these ideas are not only problematic, but downright dangerous. In fact, some of the most bizarre and extreme ideas that are currently taking root in our culture pose a real threat to our mental health and wellbeing. It is therefore essential that we recognize these dangers and take action to protect ourselves and our communities.

The End of History:

After the fall of communism, many believed that we had reached the "End of History," as proclaimed by Francis Fukuyama. However, this interpretation was flawed, as it failed to account for the true nature of Fukuyama's ideas. In reality, we are living in a time when the last vestiges of humanity are struggling to survive. As a result, we cannot simply rely on liberal democracy and capitalism to solve all our problems. Instead, we must take action to build strong institutions and protect our democracy from the dangers of ethnocentrism and tyranny. Only then can we hope to create a better future for ourselves and our children.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, the Great Depression 2.0 is not just an economic crisis, but a mental health crisis as well. It is essential that we recognize the importance of philosophy in understanding the root causes of our problems, and take action to protect ourselves from the dangers of extremism and tyranny. Only then can we hope to build a better future for ourselves and for generations to come.


Monday, February 20, 2023

chat gpt as Romius T

Title: The Harsh Reality of Living in the New Economy

As I sit here typing away, I can't help but feel like a failure. I'm 50 years old and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I've been living in a condo for years, but now the good times are over. I'll be looking for a new place to live in the worst rental market in years. 

Living by yourself is the fastest way to poverty in the new economy. It's impossible to room alone in the Phoenix area. Studios go for more than I make in a month, and 1-bedroom apartments cost more than owning 3 trailer homes in Arkansas. It's like the system is rigged against people like me, people who can't seem to catch a break.

I may have to travel back to Palmetto (aka the palm ghetto) or live with some friends here and rent a room from them. Either way, it's just more proof that I'm a loser. I have 20-year-old friends that have their own house and car, and sometimes I can't afford to uber home when I have groceries. It's a harsh reality that I can't seem to escape.

The truth is that the middle class is crumbling. It's not just me who's struggling. The American dream is dead, and I can't wait to see those smug asshats who talked up the triumph of capitalism to take it on the chin. It's the end of the American Century™, and living standards are declining. Now is the time to give up hope. Just like me. 

I'm not writing this to garner pity or sympathy. I'm writing this to shed light on the harsh reality of living in the new economy. We're all just one step away from losing everything we've worked for, and there's no safety net to catch us. We're on our own, struggling to survive in a world that doesn't care about us. 

As I finish this post, I can't help but feel a sense of despair. But maybe that's just the new normal. Maybe we're all destined to feel this way, forever searching for a way out of our misery. The only thing I know for sure is that things are not going to get better. The ending may not be cheerful, but it's the truth.
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